Dipper 2-0: Proactive Edition
by The Cowardly Christian
Summary: Major AU! DARKER! EDGIER! Gravity Falls/Dipper! Say goodbye to all the humor and cartoonish whimsy! The Dipper Pines that comes to this town isn't messing around! There's secrets to be found...Lives to be saved...Revenge to be had...Now a harem! IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!
1. Chapter 1

**Dipper 2.0: Proactive edition**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

 **We live in a vast Multiverse with so many possibilities and outcomes; and of course many universes.**

 **In one such universe Dipper Pines and his twin sister would come to the extraordinary town of Gravity Falls, Dipper would then find a mysterious Journal that exposes the supernatural(possibly apocalyptic) seedy underbelly of the seemingly tranquil town.**

 **Now despite Dippers obsessive love for all things unusual and weird...he's still a little boy(no matter how much he tries to pretend otherwise). With the same wants, desires, and understandings of any boy his age.**

 **So, for the majority of that summer.** **Dipper's mission(if you were to call it that)is basically, "have a good time, stay out of trouble," maybe try to catch the eye of this girl he's got a big crush on. He's curious about what's going on in town, but he doesn't wake up every single day possessed of a need to know.**

 **So instead of actively going out of his way to learn the towns secrets, he more or less doesn't do anything until something 'weird' actually goes out of it's way to come into his life.**

 **Preferring instead to get into many cartoonish misadventures, with his friends and family(In other words being a healthy, sane person)...**

 **This is not that universe...**

… **...**

Dipper Pines watches as his beloved sister Mabel flashes her nacho earrings, attempt once more to bedazzle her entire face, and collect more of her absurd sweaters-

-And then he wakes up.

Dipper sighs as he wakes up to reality. Here he was heading to gravity falls on a bus...alone...never to hear Mabel's dorky laugh ever again...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **Also don't forget to give a shout out to my mom's birthday story on my page!**

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**

 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	2. Chapter 2

**Dipper 2.0: Proactive edition ch.2**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

"-his house burned down!?" Exclaimed a horrified Wendy. She and Soos were talking to Stan in the gift shop. Stan nodded. "Yeah, he was the only survivor...his parents...his sister...everything...gone, just gone."

Stan was trying his hardest to keep it together...but it was so hard! He'd been really looking forward to this Summer! Just him and his great niece and nephew! Family fun all around!...and then in one fell swoop...their family became a whole lot smaller...

Stan then explained that since he was his only living relative left, he'd be living with him. "So when he gets here just...I don't know...do...whatever you feel is best I guess." Said Stan half-hearted...clearly not sure what to do himself. Seeing this, his two employees just nod...

…...

When Dipper arrived Stan tried to "wow" him with seemingly appearing out of nowhere in a puff of smoke...Dipper just apathetically walked past him to the house unimpressed. Soos quickly piped up.

"Hey dude! My names Soos! Want me to carry your stuff in for you?"

Dipper sighed. "I don't have stuff...the clothes on my back are literally the only things that weren't destroyed in the fire." Soos winched. "I...see." He stated awkwardly, clearly not knowing what to do. "Well...give me a shout if you need anything!" Shouts Soos as he retreats awkwardly.

Meanwhile, Wendy. Who was on the roof fixing the sign(again). Using the Shacks supply bucket(i.e. Stuff Stan fished from the garbage. Including: rubber bands, string, paperclips, and other crap). While being supported by a Stan Co. Brand safety harness. Couldn't help but look down and winch at the others attempts to cheer up the clearly depressed boy. Wendy sighed. She knew what it was like to lose family...but this kid had it worse! At least when her mom died her dad and brothers were there to support her in the house she grew up in...This kid didn't even have that! Wendy leaned closer to get a better look at him. She wondered if-

 **SNAP!**

 **GAH!**

 **CRASH!**

 _Well...I guess I feel a little better now..._

Thinks Dipper Pines as his face is now buried in the ample bosom of the pretty red head that just fell on top of him-

 **CRASH!**

 _And now were back to just pain..._

Thinks Dipper after a giant "S" also falls on top of them...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	3. Chapter 3

**Dipper 2.0: Proactive edition ch.3**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

"-Here you go kid!" Shouts Stan as he shows Dipper into the attic. Dipper frowns. "Was that other bed for Mabel?" He asks neutrally. Stan inwardly curses himself. "Yeah...Look, I'm sorry kid. I forget. I'll remove it tomorrow." Dipper shrugs. "Okay." Without another word he climbs onto his bed. There's nothing but silence for a few minutes...

Stan sighs. "Look kid...I know what your going through...and as much as I'd like to say it get's better with time...it doesn't." Dipper turns around to look at him. "How do you get through the day then?" Stan thoughts briefly go to the bottom of his shack- He shakes his head. "I...Keep myself busy." Ventured Stan as he tried to explain this without getting into anything too secret and personal. "Y'know...you work on a project...something that's important to you...something you can put your heart and soul into...something(kinda) productive." Stan winched. _What are you doing you old fool!? That's the most mangled advice I've ever heard!_ Cursed Stan inwardly to himself.

To his surprise Dipper, seemed to be considering it! Dipper nods. "Thanks uncle...I think I'll do that" Stan gives him a confused, incredulous look before inwardly shrugging and leaving the room. The instant he left, Dipper found some paper and pencils...he took a deep breath, and then began to write down his nightmare...

…... **3 days later**...

Stan knocked on the door. "Dipper? Buddy? You okay? You haven't left your room in days." Not getting an answer, Stan opened the door. Inside he saw pictures of monsters, urban legends, cryptograms, charts, graphs, maps, and other crazy crap he didn't understand. And then he saw Dipper...he looked terrible! He was hunched over a computer, his clothes were filthy, his skin was deathly pale, and it didn't look like he'd eaten in a while.

Stan took a step forward, and almost tripped on a couple water bottles clearly filled with Dippers urine. "Okay! That's it! Your going outside!" Shouted a thoroughly creeped out Stan as he gave Dipper some fliers and hustled him outside...

…... **5 hours later**...

Stan looked out the window. _Where is he? It's getting late!_ He sees Wendy about to clock out for the day and asks her to go out and see if he's alright.

Wendy sighs but obliges. She walks into the woods...

Thankfully, she didn't have to look far. She sees Dipper sitting on a stump. She smiles and goes over to him. "Man, good to see you Dipper." She says as she grabs his arm. "Stan wants-

 **FLUMP**

Wendy jumps back startled as 'Dipper' suddenly collapses into...A bunch of little men!? "What the hey!?" Shouts Wendy, just as giant hand wraps around her body and throws her into a sack...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	4. Chapter 4

**Dipper 2.0: Proactive edition ch.4**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

Dipper was exstatic! This Journal was just what he'd been looking for! So many new mysteries and secrets to solve! It made him want to salivate! Best of all, it had so much useful ideas for-

-"The more you struggle, the more awkward this is gonna be for everybody! Just, ha ha, okay. Get her arm there, Steve!" Dipper looks up from the journal and immediately recognizes gnomes from the illustrations in the next clearing over.

 _Huh, strange. The journal didn't say anything about them getting that big._ Dipper thinks with confusion as he spots a couple of abnormally large gnomes fusing over something. Dipper squints further...And realizes they have someone! And not just anyone! The Wendy girl from the shack!

Dipper frowns at this...then shrugs to himself. _Oh, well. Better her than me...Well, back to the the journal!_ Thinks Dipper to himself as he puts his head back into the journal and begins to walk away-

HELP! SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME! Shouted Wendy desperately, having finally got the gag out of her mouth.

Dipper stopped dead in his tracks. Suddenly he wasn't in the forest anymore...He was somewhere else...somewhere so far away...yet so close-

 _Dipper! Help me! Please! I need you! I-_

 _ **CRUNCH!**_

Dipper shakes his head, sighs, and begins to walk back toward the clearing while flipping through the journal back to the gnome section. _GNOME: Weaknesses:...Unknown?...(sigh) Yeah, that sounds about right..._

…...

"Let go of me you perverts!" Shouted an increasingly frantic Wendy. Jeff chuckles. "Come on sweet thing! It's not that bad! Were just making you marry all one thousand of us thus making you our Queen!" Wendy paled. "Oh, Glob no!" She shouts revolted.

Jeff shakes his head. "You will do as your told! You have no idea what we're capable of. The gnomes are a powerful race! Do not trifle with the-

 _ **Corpus Levitus! Diablo Dominus! MONDO VICIUM!**_

Shouts a familiar voice from nearby. Suddenly, the sound of Zombie roars and gnome screams fill the air. The giant gnomes holding Wendy scream as their grabbed and ripped to pieces. Wendy falls to the ground. She looks up to see Dipper. "Dipper, what's- She's forced to stop talking mid-sentence as he splashes her with the most revolting liquid she'd ever tasted. While she gags, Dipper grabs her and forces her to run as the gnomes are ripped to pieces by the zombies.

When they're a safe enough distance away, they pause to catch their breath...or Wendy tries to anyway, but she's too busy gagging on the horrible smell that's emanating from both her and Dipper. "Gah! Thanks for saving me! But Gah! What is was that you splashed me with!?" "Duck Urine: The Ultimate Zombie Repellant." Replied Dipper flatly. Wendy in turn replies to this by vomiting.

There's a long awkward silence..."Well, if your okay; I guess I'll be going now." Said Dipper flatly as he begins to walk away. "Wait, what!?" Exclaimed Wendy. "No, I'm not okay! I got abducted by weird little men! You summoned a hoard of Zombies! You splashed me with duck urine! I think I'm entitled to an explanation!"

Dipper groaned. "Wendy...Look, it be better if you just pretended all of that never happened- "Nuts to that! You'd better explain what just happened or I'll tell everyone about this!" Dipper couldn't help but chuckle. "Oh, really? And what will you tell them? That you were abducted by gnomes and saved by a 12 year old summoning forth an army of the undead?"

Wendy opens her mouth to retort...then closes it while clearly in deep thought. _Wow, he's right. I saw it, and even I don't believe it!_ Suddenly, she smiles and snatches away his journal. "Fine then. I'll just hold onto this then!" She says as she dangles it above him. Dipper sighs. "Really? Were doing this? This is how you show gratitude for being saved?" Wendy glares. "Considering I haven't punched your face in for spraying me with urine, yes." She emphasis her point by punching through a nearby tree.

Dipper paled and nodded. "O-okay, fair enough." Then he sighs. "Fine, come with me and I'll explain." He gestures for her to follow him back to the shack. Wendy triumphantly obliges. Then a thought occurs to her. "Wait, shouldn't we do something about those Zombies?" Dipper waved a dismissive hand. "Meh, I'm sure it'll be fine." He states with disinterest.

The people in charge of missing persons will beg to differ in the coming weeks...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	5. Chapter 5

**Dipper 2.0: Proactive edition ch.5**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

When Wendy entered the room she was disturbed by the weird drawings...and the smell of urine. But nothing made her more horrified then the big picture on top of Dippers bed...a detailed drawing of a creature that would give your nightmares nightmares! It practically radiated malice and terror!

Dipper sighed. It all started the day of the fire...But that's not the whole story...it never was...

…...

 _Dipper was knocked out of his dream as the familiar sensation of his twin sister Mabel accidentally kneeing him in the crotch as she excitedly jumps onto his bed. "Hey, Bro-Bro! I just invented glitter omelets!"_

… _..._

-Wendy snorted. "I'm sorry, glitter omelets?" She teasingly inquired with good-natured skepticism.

MY SISTER WAS A QUIRKY, LOVABLE, UNIQUE PERSON THAT YOU WOULD'VE BEEN LUCKY TO HAVE CALLED FRIEND!

Screamed Dipper enraged. "Whoa! Sorry! My bad! I'm sure she was!" Amended Wendy quickly, seeing she'd hit a sensitive subject. She then simultaneously motions that she'll be quiet and for him to continue.

Dipper sends one more glare at Wendy...Then continues...

…...

 _Too busy in pain from his aching crotch, Dipper was helpless as Mabel shoved her latest culinary experiment down his throat-_

 _SEVERAL HEIMLICH MANUVERS LATTER_

 _Dipper desperately panted in air! Sweet beautiful air!..."Huh, that...that actually tasted pretty good." Admitted a surprised Dipper. Mabel beamed. "I thought you'd like it! I had a good feeling about that combination of glitter and weird stuff I found in the wild-_

 _ **CRASH!**_

 _They heard a loud crash from downstairs...But that's not what first caught the twins attention...No, it was the massive, overpowering malevolence that now seemed to be flowing through the air...drowning them...making them cry and vomit._

 _The spell was broken when they heard their mothers scream. They quickly snapped to and rushed out their door and gaze downstairs...Just as their mothers mangled corpse hit the floor. The monsterous giant mantis-like thing looked up at the twins curiously- "Kids run!" Shouted their father as he smashed a chair over 'it'. The creature wasn't even stunned! It just punched the man so hard into the wall that it broke all his bones and the pipe in the wall._

 _The mantis then flew at the twins. Not knowing what else to do, the twins quickly ran back into their room._

 _Dipper quickly slammed the door and protectively pressed himself up against it. Mabel meanwhile, just whimpered and cuddled up into a ball on the other side of the room._

 _ **SMASH!**_

 _The door came crashing down onto Dipper. He tried to stand, but the beast stepped on the door pinning him to the ground. The creature then reached over and snatched up Mabel like she was as light as a feather._

" _No! Mabel!" Shouted Dipper. He tried to move, but it was taking all his strength just to not pass out from the pain! Forget about actually moving! Mable became more and more frantic. "Dipper! Help me! Please! I need you! I-_

 _ **CRUNCH!**_

 _And so it came to pass that Dipper Pines. Did bare witness as Mabel Pines...his better half, the one who'd been with him since conception, the one who's love of goofy sweaters was the stuff of legends...had the top half of her head bitten off by a giant praying mantis...Before Dipper could even comprehend this...the gas leaking from the pipe downstairs finally came in contact with a sparking, broken wire-_

 _ **BOOM!**_

…...

Dipper sighed as he looked once more at his explicitly-detailed sketch of the beast that destroyed everything he'd ever known and loved. "I didn't say anything because I knew that people would just say I'm crazy." Dipper chuckled. In fact...until I found this journal...and those gnomes...I was starting to believe I was too." He admitted.

Dipper sighed again. "Just to be clear...I've seen enough movies to know what revenge can do to a person...That there was no way a little kid like me could've had any chance of stopping a monster like that...I know that creature was just a mindless beast with no qualms against us, and that we were probably just in the wrong place at the wrong time...And the odds are slim to none that I'll ever find him again...But really, at this point in time...it's either I get up and focus on hunting him and other adventurous curiosities this journal has arisen in me...or just lay around and sulk for the summer...needless to say I'm going to do the first."

He turns to Wendy who's been taking in all these revelations silently and with wide eyes. "Alright Wendy, I've told you everything...so now what?" Wendy frowned. That was a good question...where did they go from here? She couldn't just walk away from this...It was just too huge! She'd lived in gravity falls her whole life...but in the span of a couple of hours this kid has made her realize she doesn't know bubkiss about it! Also... She looks around the room...and the urine bottles...this kid was slowly becoming a creep...Which wasn't fair, it wasn't his fault he was forced to watch his loved ripped apart before his eyes...he was a nice guy! He saved her life for crying out loud!

Coming to a decision, she looks back at him. "I say...Do you need an assistant?"...

…...

Jeff groaned as the remains of his once grand army dragged him across the forest. Suddenly a dark figure steps in front of them. Jeff looks up and growls. "You! What's the big idea! When I agreed to kidnap the Red head in exchange for you super-sizing some of my men; you didn't say anything about a crazy kid summoning zombies!" He snaps.

The stranger said nothing, he simply stepped forward and ripped them the to pieces. It then looks toward the shack.

 _Sleep while you can Dipper Pines. This was but the first of many tests. Hate me, fear me, use me as your drive to get stronger...either you shall have your vengeance...or I shall have my feast!_ Thinks the Mantis monster as it fades away into the night...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Heads up! The mantis monster isn't an OC! He's a villain from another series. Special prize to the person who guess where!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	6. Chapter 6

**Dipper 2.0: Proactive edition ch.6**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

Dipper and Wendy walked into the woods. Wendy looked around nervously...how had she never noticed how menacing and weird the forest around here was? She lived in the middle of it for crying out loud!

"Well...I don't think I've ever been this far from town before- Stated Wendy right before she saw something small get eaten by something big...which is then eaten by something bigger...and she was fairly certain that these things had multiple limbs and eyes...She couldn't really tell, she was too busy running away from there.

Dipper once more consulted the journal. "Okay...fifty paces from the cherry blossom...move perpendicular from teeth shard canopy...yeah, I think were almost there." Stated Dipper. "Oh...great...okay...explain to me again what were doing?" Asked Wendy as she stepped over the corpse of yet another...thing.

"Were going to find the Phoenix migration ground, kill one, gather it's essence into a special container that'll stop it from resurrecting, then do a ritual to bind it to us."

"Oh, were going to make it our familiar...or something?" Asked Wendy as she desperately tried to ignore the large mounds of human skeleton parts that were becoming more numerous the farther they went in.

Dipper chuckled. "Oh no...the Author figured out something much better...it's going to be awesome!" Wendy smiled...or was about to before a giant tentacle came out of the ground and tried to break her face.

While Dipper helped Wendy wrestle with it, he had a fleeting thought of regret for blowing off his uncle when he suggested they go to the lake together...but then it was gone. _After all; going to a lake, or going to deep, dark woods...no contest which is going to be more exciting._ Thought Dipper to himself confidently...

…...

Sheriff Blubs emptied his stomach at the sight of the mangled corpse. "That's it! That's the fifth person who's died after coming onto the island to make fun of this islands name! By the power invested in me I hereby rename this island to just 'scuttle'!"

Durland gave a mournful sigh. "There goes my favorite pastime." It was a depressed duo that dragged the bloated corpse of Soos Ramirez back to the mainland...

…...a couple days later...

Dipper and Wendy stumbled exhausted from the forest...most of which was now on fire. It had taken multiple attempts, some broken teeth, and third degree burns...but they'd done it! They'd finally gotten-

It was then that they noticed an angry mob outside the Mystery Shack angrily demanding free Pizza. Seeing where this was going. Dipper and Wendy quickly went their separate ways and dispersed before things got ugly...thankfully the mob was quick to run home...the blaze had spread from the forest to burn down half the town-

…...Later that night...

Wendy ran back to the Mystery Shack in a huff. The nerve of Dipper! Texting her that setting things up for the ritual 'would be too much for her to handle'. _After everything we went through to get the blasted thing...I ought to slug him!_ Thought Wendy angrily as she marched upstairs.

She threw open Dippers door, and stormed in ready to chew him out...only to wind up frozen in her tracks. Her face a mix of shock, disbelief...and embarrassment.

Dipper looks up from what he's doing. "Oh, hey Wendy. What are you doing here?" Asked Dipper nonchalant.

Wendy flustered but still tried to form a coherent sentence. "Uh...your...your text..."

Dipper frowned. "My text? What about- He pauses to check his phone. His eye's widened. "Wha- Is that what I sent you!?" Dipper exclaimed in disbelief. He turns to Wendy. "Gee, I'm sorry Wendy. I must not have been paying attention, I meant to say 'setting things up for ritual would make you uncomfortable'. That's my bad."

Wendy dumbly nods, unable to take her eyes off him...or get over his seemingly uncaring attitude.

"Yeah...that's...fine...uh...Dipper? "Yeah, what is it?" Asked Dipper. "Do you...Are you...You do realize that your naked right now right?" She asked awkwardly.

"Wha? Oh, yeah. The equipment and ingredients I'm using are very sensitive to static discharge...one spark will destroy the Phoenix's essence and set us right back to square one. So this is the best way to do it, really." Stated Dipper again in a very nonchalant matter.

Wendy frowned. "Uh...and your okay? With me being here? Seeing you...like this?"

Dipper sighed. "Wendy, I watched my family ripped apart in front of me...after that not much really bothers me anymore." He admits.

Wendy paled. "Oh...right...wow, I never thought of it like that-

Dipper nods. "And speaking of things your thinking about, let's just get them out of the way." He then counts them off with his fingers. "Yes, I'm well aware of how scrawny, hairless, and pasty white my body is. Yes, I'm also well aware of how ridiculously tiny and pathetic my genitals are. And No, I don't know how it's physically possible for me to pee with a wang this tiny, I try not to question it."

"What?...That's...That's not what I was thinking about." Lied Wendy awkwardly.

Dipper shook his head. "Well, it doesn't matter. Since obviously you won't want to do this and help me. I'll need you to leave. This next part is delicate and I'll need to fully concentrate on what I'm doing."

Wendy frowned. "Would I really need to be naked? Couldn't I just...wear a bikini or something?"

Dipper sighed. "Let me answer that question with a question: Are you willing to risk ruining this batch and having to go back into the forest for more?"

Wendy paled as memories of a giant flaming bird trying to maul her came back in force. "Good point." she acknowledged.

Dipper noded. "Look Wendy, it's fine. I can handle this. Just go home, and I'll call you in the morning." Reassured Dipper as he turned back to his work.

Wendy still looked uncomfortable. "Oh...okay, if...if your sure." She said awkwardly as she turned to leave.

 **SPLASH!**

 **GAH!**

Wendy wheeled around just in time to see Dipper nurse his arm that had been splattered with a caustic chemical, while trying to keep a modified tea kettle from boiling over.

Wendy groans inwardly. _I cannot believe what I'm about to do._ Thinks Wendy to herself.

Dipper is so focused on keeping his workshop from exploding, that he didn't notice what was going on behind him-

 **SWOOP!**

Until Wendy grabs the kettle and keeps it stable...in all her naked glory. Dipper turned bright red. "I...wow..Wendy I-

"Could we please not talk about it!?" Interrupted an equally red Wendy suddenly. This is humiliating enough as it is! Can we please just get this over with!?" Dipper sighed. "Actually no, we can't...the process takes 5 hours...at least." Wendy gives out a resigned sigh. "Yeah, that sounds about right...

…...MEANWHILE...

DIPPER! WENDY! ANYBODY! HELP! Screamed Stan in the front room as he's surrounded by living wax figures...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	7. Chapter 7

**Dipper 2.0: Proactive edition ch.7**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

Gideon Gleeful cackled as he looked over the charts and graphs. Thanks to his successful prank war, dream team of spin doctors, character assassins, mudslingers, muck-rakers, and garbologists, and Stan's terrible people skills(mostly the last one). His plan to force Stan to go bankrupt so he could gain the shack was moving smoothly! In another year it would be a reality! Which was fine with Gideon, he could wait, it was fun to watch Stan squirm!

Now in another universe, at this point in time. The rejection of a certain girl, and the actions of her brother would ignite the homicidal rage hidden within this little sociopath; making him speed up his plans and do increasingly more drastic and demented things to gain control of the Shack...This was not that universe.

Gideon rubs his hands together happily. _What prank should I pull on him next? Glue him to a pool chair, duct tape his employe to the ceiling? Or-_

That was the last thought that Gideon had before a giant green claw popped out of the shadows and snatched him away...

…...

 _Stan was furious! He nearly died! These wax freaks nearly killed him...and no one came to help him! He rushed upstairs. That tore it! He'd tried to take things slow and compassionately! But enough was enough! His own nephew ignored his cries help! Seriously, who dose that!?_

 _He tore open the door, ready to chew him out-_

 **GAH!**

 _Shouted a mortified Wendy as she jumped away from Dipper and covered herself with a newspaper. In that instant all the anger left Stan, how could he be angry when his nephew had just scored big time?(getting an eyeful of Wendy hadn't hurt either)_

" _M-Mr. Pine...I swear that we- Stuttered a flustered Wendy. Stan laughed. "Say no more, I'll give you two privacy." This causes Wendy to go even more scarlet. He turns to Dipper. "You know I was really worried about you...but clearly I was wrong, you the man kid!" Dipper, not knowing what else to do, nodded along._

Dipper frowned as he once more reminisced about last night as he threw his uncles bills into a wood chipper that spewed them into the bottomless pit.

For all his big talk...he was still a hormonial 12 year old boy...and right now those hormones were working overtime to confuse him to pieces.

Although Stan's assumption of what they were doing was wrong...he couldn't help but wonder if only Stan hadn't barged in and left them to themselves...maybe-

Dipper shook his head. He didn't know what to think...still...something had been going on between them last night. He didn't know if it was because they'd become closer than he'd thought, if it was because they'd been naked, or perhaps all that supernatural chemicals wafting through the air...but something had been happening...

DIPPER PINES! Dipper wheels around and sees a small white-haired child floating through the air and glowing.

I'VE COME TO MAKE YOU THE CAT TO MY MOUSE! WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO PLAY WITH YOU A BIT? OR JUST BITE YOUR HEAD OFF AND BE DONE WITH IT!? OR-

 **BANG!**

The boys head exploded in a gory shower. Dipper blew out the smoke on one of his uncles ten guns(now very thankful that he'd started practicing with one after the gnome fiasco). He then casually loots the corpse. He swipes his wallet, some loose change, hair gel, and the clearly magic bolo tie.

He then drags the corpse and throws it into the wood chipper-

The strange intruder already forgotten, Dipper turns his mind to how that Modified tea kettles hissing prevented either him or Wendy hearing Stan calling for help...Perhaps he should set up some sort of security system?...He also should take a look at that Larry King head Stan now had on display...

…...

The giant mantis watched all this from the shadows irritated. _Oh, for the love of- (sigh) I guess what they say is true: Never send a psycho to do a monsters job...oh, well. At least this wasn't a total loss at least._

Thought the creature as it examined the book marked with a **2...**

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	8. Chapter 8

**Dipper 2.0: Proactive edition ch.8**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

As always Tambry was blogging:

 **Status Update: having a night on the town with my friends. Wendy got the day off, apparently her boss need to go to the police station to identify...something or other...Wasn't really paying attention, was checking new web videos-**

It was at that point Tambry briefly looked up(a rare thing indeed). To hear what Wendy was saying:

"Okay so Thompson, if you can just stop by the Mystery Shack, I'll go in to pick up Dipper." Robbie predictably groans at this(what doesn't he groan at?). "You were serious about that? Why on earth would we want a 12 year old twerp around to cramp our-

 **SLAP!**

Everyone watched in disbelieving horror at what just happened. Wendy glared at Robbie. "Bad mouth him again...and I'll smash your teeth in." Replied Wendy darkly. Everyone just looked on in shock, Tambry even more so! She had never seen her oldest friend this mad before...it was kinda scary...

Suddenly Wendy remembered something. "Oh, I almost forgot. Don't ask Dipper any questions about family...just don't." She said that last part in a very stern way that gave unmistakable(yet unspoken) promise of pain.

Now Tambry was very bewildered...and curious...who was this Dipper pines? Doing what she dose best, she begins to blog. She typed in 'dipper', 'pines', and 'family'...and her face became ashen.

By the time they pulled up to the shack and Wendy went inside...for the first time in many years...Tambry didn't feel like blogging...

…...

Wendy groaned, it hadn't been Easy. Dipper had just found a weird bolo tie/amulet that combined with information from the journal allowed him to shoot lightning from his hands...and he wanted to see if he could squeeze some other super powers out of it.

Now Wendy would be lying if she weren't tempted at that point to forgot the whole thing and spend the night playing with superpowers(who wouldn't?)...But, no. Dipper needed to get outside! Interact with other people! Or anything healthy, really!

The only reason he'd agreed to this in the first place was because she made the destination a haunted store! But after some more persuading, Dipper finally relented...

…...

Tambry continued to look at Dipper as they continued to walk toward the 'Dusk 2 Dawn'...She felt like she should do something...like Wendy was clearly trying to do...but she couldn't think of anything she could do or say or anything really...she felt helpless...just like when Wendy's mom died and all she could do was watch as her best friend cried her eyes out...coincidentally, it was around that time she discovered the wonders of blogging...wait a minute...was it possible that she just used cyberspace as an escape to avoid her feelings of helplessness?

Tambry was torn from this personal epiphany with the sound of Robbie grunting as he tried to open the door. "I think it's, it's stuck!" Suddenly the door opened revealing Dipper already inside. The group looks at him in disbelief, especially Robbie. "Wait, how did you- "Air vent." Stated Dipper flatly, he then walked back in without another word. "Good call inviting this little maniac!" Shouted Lee as they walked inside.

Suddenly Dipper held up a hand. "Hold on...do you guys smell that?" Everyone looked at him weird, except Wendy. She started sniffing the instant he said that. "Yeah...is something burning?" "Whoa, check it out!" Shouted Nate as he pointed to the register. Where behind it, a thin trail of smoke could be seen.

Quickly Dipper ran to it, preparing the exorcist kit he'd whipped up as he did...but what he saw confused him.

"Huh, this is strange." Said Dipper seeing the burnt remains of two chalk-outline figures. "Yeah, burnt old people!" Shouted a weirded out Lee. Dipper frowned. "No, it's not that...someone clearly attempted an exorcism here...but wait...no, this is all wrong." Said Dipper suddenly as he quickly gave the scene a more closer examination.

Robbie snorted. "Exorcism? Kid what are you- "Robbie, hush!" Snapped Wendy irritably.

Dipper frowned as he double-checked. "Odd...it's as if whoever did this bound and wound them here...but instead of banishing them like you'd expect...they did something else...something...different."

Robbie rolled his eyes. "Well, this kids a loon- "Robbie, I swear I will break your face in if you say another word!" Snapped Wendy enraged. Tambry looked on her friend confused...not sure what to make of this outburst.

After cross-examining a few more etchings in the journal...Dipper shrugged. "Well, whatever this is, there's nothing like it in the journal...and judging by the groove marks, I'd also say that this was very painful for the ghost-

 **Yes, it was quite excruciating!**

His recently re-discovered protective urges kicking in, Dipper quickly dived and pushed Tambry and Wendy out of the way!

 **SLASH!**

Sadly these unintentionally biased protective urges were little use to the teens with Y-chromosomes. Ordinarily, seeing their four friends being brutally decapitated would have horrified the two girls...but they were far too busy being horrified at the twisted apparition that stood before them!

It was like someone took two elderly ghosts, then striped them, beat them, burnt them, then ripped them to pieces, then stitched all the pieces back together in one freakishly random conglomeration...then repeated the process multiple times.

 **GAZE AT US AND TREMBLE! SOON OUR PAIN WILL BE YOURS! THIS WAS BUT A TASTE OF THE HORRIFYING AND GRUSOME END WE HAVE PLANNED FOR YOU! NONE SHALL LEAVE HERE! YOU-**

 **ZAP!**

 _Note to self: Theory that shooting lightning from amulet through glass prism filled with holy water will daze high-level ghosts is proven!...although the whole 'having prism explode in your hand painfully', makes it less than ideal...new delivery system needed perhaps?_

Thought Dipper to himself as he took advantage of the damaged monsters incapacitation to exorcise it forever. Dipper turned back to see a frightened yet resolute Wendy protectively holding Tambry...who judging by the smell had just wet herself. Dipper gave a resigned sigh, as he readied himself for yet another explination...

…...

Dipper watched as Wendy helped a shell-shocked Tambry home. Leaving Dipper alone with his thoughts.

 _Who botched that exorcism? And why? What were they trying to accomplish?_ Thought Dipper to himself as he began processing the scene and disposing of the corpses...

…...

From the shadows the mantis watched. _BAH! These local monsters are useless! Honestly what's wrong with monsters these days? Whatever happened to standards?...Well, no matter. If Dipper wants to play with the big boys...I'll gladly oblige!_

With a snap of his claw. A Rolodex appeared in a puff of smoke. He quickly selects a card and uses the telepathic frequency listed on it to make the call. After a moment of silence...

"Mr. Six...Your time is now"...

 **Omake: cutting room floor**

 **I wanted to put this scene in, but I couldn't think of how to put it in that felt 'natural'. But regardless ENJOY!**

(Insert Dipper making a comment somewhat related to his sister) Robbie laughed. "Wow, your sister sounds like a weirdo."

 **CRASH!**

Without warning Robbie suddenly found himself out of the car and smashed into a tree. Everyone looked at this in horror. Thompson began to slow the car down...But a single glare from both Dipper and Wendy was all the motivation he needed to speed up again.

"Hey guys! Come back!" Shouted Robbie as he ran after the car as it speed away...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **Bit's and pieces of tambry's intro were given to me by "The Keeper of Worlds" also 'protective urges'**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	9. Chapter 9

**Dipper 2.0: Proactive edition ch.9**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

It had been a couple days since the 'incident' at the store...And Tambry was still trying to sort through things. Wendy, although shaken was handling it much better. She'd taken a page out of Dippers book and kept herself busy with a 'project'...Which in this case was finding whoever(or whatever) deliberately botched the exorcism and messed up that ghost...and then rip them to pieces!

Currently she was walking with Tambry on the outskirts of town to convince her to do likewise. "Come on Tambry it's either this or go back to moping in your room. If you have a better way to help yourself through this; by all means tell me...Seriously, I'm asking. If you have another way I'd appreciate you telling me...This way- Although exciting -is nonetheless very messed up" Stated Wendy honestly. Tambry frowned. "I don't know Wendy...this supernatural stuff...it really freaks me out...And what would I even be able to do in a fight?"

"Whoa, okay you wouldn't have to fight if you didn't want to...You could...you could- Oh! Okay you could document and organize our findings!" Stated Wendy finally. Tambry looked thoughtful. "I...guess I could do that...and I do like anything with computers." Admitted Tambry. Wendy nods and excitedly hugs her. "There you go! Watch out world! Were not going to be Damsels in distress anymore! You'll be dealing with hot-blooded amazons from here on out!"

This of course was when the Manitours ambushed them. Wendy groaned. "Why dose this not surprise me?" She said out loud as the Manitours grabbed them-

 **GAH!**

They screamed as a weird talisman worn by both girls blasted them and caused both creatures to burst into green flames. _Thank you Dipper._ Thought both girls to themselves as they ran away while the remaining beasts were staring dumbstruck at the charred remains of their comrades...And ran right smack into something worse...

It had an impossibly narrow, horse-like head, a dead horse's head, covered in slack, bone-white, bloodless skin. The skin was decorated with pea-sized, pus-oozing bumps, like a diseased chicken's. It's eyes shined down on them like bulging, blood-red orbs embedded in the loose skin like larvae.

"Sorry dearies, but I need your help with a spot of bother I'm facing." Said the creature in a British accent as it grabbed both girls by the shirt and lifted them up-

 **ZAP!**

Once more the talismans blasted what was threatening the girls...but this time the creature just looked annoyed. His eyes shot an energy blast of it's own that incinerated both talismans. It tossed them to the Manitours who quickly grabbed them both. "Strip them and burn their possessions. I don't want anymore 'surprises'." The girls struggled all the more frantically after hearing that, but the Manitours just held on all the more fiercely. They were more than desperate to please their new leader...especially after he proved his 'manliness' by ripping off their old leaders head this morning...

…...

Dipper Pines smiled at his concoction finally reached critical mass...And spat out a ring. After many days, his phoenix binding ritual/elixir was finally done! He examined the ring with delight All he had to do was wait a couple hours for it to cool and they could begin! Which shouldn't be so hard since after Stan went to identify a body at the morgue...He'd been more distant-

 **BAM!**

Broken from his thoughts; Dipper turned to the front door where the noise had originated. Dipper opened it and found a spear with a note tied to it skewering the porch. He opened it and paled...

…...

"Mr. Six! Mr. Six! Mr. Six!" Dipper heard the chanting a mile away as he followed the directions on the envelope to a strange coliseum in the middle of the forest that seemed to have been built overnight. Dipper using the special glasses that the book told him how to make, he zooms in. He sees the usual 'monster energy' emenating from what appear to be manitours...But that large energy signature in the center?...it wasn't like anything he'd read in the journal!

Dipper frowned. _I can tell the journal is fairly accurate...yet it keeps dropping the ball...Is it just because it's only the third in the series?...Or is there something else at work here?_

Dipper put that thought aside, he'd worry about that later. Right now he needed to save the girls! He was stopped at the entrance and ordered to relinquish everything(including clothes). Not seeing any other choice Dipper complied. "Is it okay if I keep my ring, lucky Bolo tie, and glasses?" The manitour looked over the three items; and thought: _Girly, nerdy, and dorky._ He chuckles. "Sure, whatever wimp. Bring your security blanket too for all I care!" He continues to laugh as Dipper puts on the loincloth he was given.

He then goes into the arena just as the source of the large energy(or Mr. Six if the crowds chanting was anything to go by) signature had finished killing a couple hundred more contestants.

Once he sees Dipper, he jumps onto a makeshift throne high in the stands. Dipper has just enough time to see the girls naked and chained to chairs that are right next to his throne, when Six announced for the fight to begin.

Suddenly, huge swarms of Manitours began to flood the arena. They roared and pounded their chests as they charged forward-

 **ZAP!**

Only for Dipper to fry, electrocute, or freeze them with his amulet.

Mr. Six growled and turned to the manitour who guarded the entrance. "I thought I told you to make him give up everything!" The manitour sweated. "It's just...It looked so girly"-

 **SQUISH!**

Suddenly the Manitour found his body forcibly vomiting out all his blood, organs, and bones. Dipper was amazed! Thanks to his glasses he saw that Six did this by infecting the manitours 'monster energy' with his own! With just a snap of a finger, no less!... _interesting_. Dipper had to cut that thought short as yet another mob of manitours gunned for him.

After several dozen more mobs were massacred-

 **ENOUGH!**

Shouts Mr. Six. He snaps his fingers again causing weird machines hooked up to the girls chairs to activate. Six then jumps down to the arena floor. "They're will be no more of those magic attacks. If there are- He signals for a manitour to shot a minor magic bolt at him-

 **GAH!**

Screamed the girls as they were shocked. Dipper gasped in horror. Six laughed. "Yes, see and despair! But I'll make you a deal: Entertain me before I kill you and I'll give them a quick death!"

Dippers mind raced. What could he do? Without magic he'd be powerless! He hadn't exactly been "athletic" before coming here...And since coming here he'd mainly sat down and studied the journal...Not the best activities to develop muscles...

"Well?" Demanded Six as he signals to be hit by another minor magic bolt. Causing the girls to scream again. Dipper could only watch helplessly as his friends were tortured. He frowned as he rubbed his ring...it had become warm the past hour...Which means he could fuse with the phoenix essence!...Unfortunately, that did him little good now...Unless...

Dipper frowned...it was crazy...risking their lives on a theory...but what choice did he have?

Dipper sighed. "Alright, you win." Dipper takes another deep breath...then performs the 'Lamby song'.

While they're busy laughing, mocking, and throwing rotten fruit...Dipper begins his plan. Quickly he whispers an incantation to his amulet. Then he starts to focus on the ring...activating it's runes...but using the amulet to make some last minute adjustments...almost...now!

Suddenly the ring turns into a ghostly phoenix and flies toward Six. Six laughs. "Sacrificing your friends, eh? Oh, that's cold, my boy...I like it!" He shouts just as the pheonix...passes through him harmlessly. Six again laughs. "Ha! I don't know why the boss was so interested in you...Clearly your an amateur!"

Dipper filed that comment away for later, for now- "Wasn't aiming at you." He quipped. Suddenly concerned, Six whips around just in time to see the same technique(or a bastardized version of it anyway) he'd used on that manitour; being used to fuse Wendy with the phoenix essence!"

Speaking of that technique...The instant Six Swerved around; Dipper sprang into action using that same technique. There probably wouldn't be a second chance. So he pumped as much of his energy into infecting the energy in Six's head and forcing it with the simple order to 'grow'...or at least...make one small piece of his brain grow anyway.

Six's head popped open at the same time The mystic feedback from fusing caused the machines Tambry and Wendy were hooked to explode!

 **BOOM!**

The few remaining Manitour decided that the most manly decision at this point...was a 'tactical retreat'...which they did...very fast.

…...

Not caring about their currently unclothed state the girls rushed to Dipper to make sure he was alright. "Dipper are you alright!?" Dipper blushed at the sight of the girls, but nodded. "A bit banged up...but I'll live." Tambry blushed. "Uh...Dipper?"

Dipper sighed when she saw where her eyes were looking. "Right, lets just get this out of the way: Yes, I'm aware that I lost my loincloth during the fight. "Yes, I'm well aware of how scrawny, hairless, and pasty white my body is. Yes, I'm also well aware of how ridiculously tiny and pathetic my genitals are. And No, I don't know how it's physically possible for me to pee with a wang this tiny, I try not to question it."

Tambry couldn't help but giggle. "Wow, you even got the order I was thinking them right." She admitted impressed.

Wendy clapped her hands together. "Right! I think we can all agree that it's been a long day...also this is awkward...So I think we should just head home!"

Dipper shook his head. "I don't think that's a good idea." He then explains about Six's comment. "Boss!? As in more powerful then the creep you just fought!? As in probably has minions as powerful as that Six guy or worse!?" Exclaimed Tambry, drawing info from her videogame experience.

Dipper nodded. "I would think so. In which case it would be safer if you stayed at my house for awhile...I've reactivated a lot of security features that have been lying dormant in the shack for awhile...I'm also in the process of upgrading some of them."

"Laying dormant?" Asked Wendy curiously. "I have reason to believe that the Shack once belonged to the Author." Admitted Dipper simply.

Wendy shook her head. "Dipper...I'm not saying your not right...But what about our lives? Our families? What about them?"

"Yeah about them"... Trailed off Dipper. "Obviously we don't want them being kidnapped...but I doubt they'll believe us...So I think a more drastic solution is needed...

…...

"This doesn't feel right." Stated Tambry flatly. Wendy sighed. "I know...But Dippers right, what choice did we have?"

Using special herbs to put their family in a coma-like state. Dipper then freezes them with a special cryo ritual. He then presents them to Grunkle Stan as new tourist attractions; so they'll be at the Shack for them to keep an eye on.

He then asks if Tambry and Wendy could stay. "Stay? Stay where? There's no more rooms in the house!" Exclaimed Stan. "We'll just stay in Dippers room." Said both girls. Stan's eye's widened. He turns to Dipper. "I'm not going to lie to you kid...I'm torn between 'bursting with pride' and 'Strangle you with jealousy'!" He says with a smirk. Dipper just looks at him confused...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **Tambry Documenting Dippers findings was suggested by "The Howling Behemoth."**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	10. Chapter 10

**Dipper 2.0: Proactive edition ch.10**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

Pacifica Northwest reclined in her limo as she and her pose reclined in her limo as it took them to the Mystery Shack party. She yawned. She hated mingling with the commoners...But she had nothing better to do...Besides their was always a dork to make fun of at these sort of things, so that'll be fun. Also-

 **BOOM!**

…...

When Pacifica came to, she found herself on a stage. On her lap was a script marked "Death of a Pre-teen". Surrounding her was her posse and...Oh! The two dorks she liked to make fun of. What were there names again? Candy...and what's her name? Blenda?

Before she could think on this further- "Okay! Enough jibber jabber! Let's get this audition rolling! Am I right!?" "YOU ARE RIGHT LORD FIVE!" Shouted a chorus of other voices. "Alright! Places on the set! Begin at your mark! Action!"

Pacifica glared. Who was this moron to give **her** orders!? She was a Northwest! And Northwests never took orders! "Who do you think you are!?" She snaps at the darkness beyond the stage. "You take me to a place I don't like and order me around like a common servant!? I'm a Northwest! Treat me with the respect I deserve or I will sue you! You pompous windbag!"

There was a long, pregnant pause. HOW DARE YOU SPEAK BADLY OF OUR LORD FIVE! HE IS THE GREATEST FILM PRODUCER IN THE COMOS! YOU-

SHHH! Hushed Five. "I'm getting an epiphany." There was another pause. "Oh, this is gold! Spoiled valley ford girl stereotype, forced to become a better person or die trying! If she succeeds, the audience will love her emotional journey! If she fails, the audience will applaud her demise! It's win-win! Am I right!?"

YOU ARE RIGHT LORD FIVE! Chorused the large group of voices again. Pacifica seethed throughout the whole 'epiphany'. She was about to explode again- Suddenly, the lights came on...and her rage died in her throat...she instead decided to wet herself.

Hovering in mid-air, in a directors chair...Was a giant, bloated, hideous, catfish...thing. With every breath it's veins became visible as they sparked with lightning. It wore nothing save a directors cap, and monocle.

it held a vintage 1920's cigarette holder in one hand and a directors megaphone in the other. Surrounding him were over a dozen toad-like things. Five waved a dismissive hand at the other girls. "Don't call us, we'll call you." and with a snap of his fingers-

 **BOOM!**

They all blew up in gory chunks, covering Pacifica with blood and guts. Five looked at her in disgust. "GUH! You look like a train wreck! We need makeup here stat! And where is that kid with my late!?"

Shouts the monstrous film producer, oblivious that his 'star' had just fell into a troubled fetal position to weep...

…...

Dipper tried to phase it the sounds of the party as he worked on his latest find...a photo copier that made copies of people! This was further evidence that made Dipper think that the Shack once belonged to the author. The problem was that he'd done his research...and Stan was the one who'd had the Shack built...Now the idea that his skeptical, negligent, shyster of an uncle had anything to do with the Author was laughable...But after finding this photo copier, and that rug that switched bodies...Perhaps he should keep a closer eye on him-

Dipper was torn from his thoughts as a familiar face approached. Dipper groans. For the last hour or so this dumb, spoiled blonde had tried to get him to dance with her! First she just told him to dance with her. She said it in a very haughty way that practically screamed she was giving a 'big honor' to him by doing this.

Naturally, he brushed her off. Then she tried to pay him to dance with her. Dipper was a little tempted(Especially when she offered thousands); but he still refused. He was too busy with the copier. Besides he'd seen enough comedies to know that girls like that only did nice things for guys like him when they wanted to dump pigs blood over his head.

Then she threatened to have her father sue his uncle for every penny he had and leave them destitute and homeless. Dipper said nothing. He'd just flipped her the bird and turned his back to her to get back to work.

Dipper whirled around, ready to give her a piece of his mind- He stopped...She was crying! She was on her knees! "Please(sniff)...Dance with me...Please(Sob)...I'm begging you!"

Didn't need his protective urges to be screaming bloody murder(which they were) to know that something was wrong. He'd seen enough drama's!

Quickly, he presses the 'panic button' on his wristwatch to alert the girls. Then he draws something on a napkin and goes over to help her up. "Sure, I'll dance with you." Says Dipper as he makes a show of wiping her eyes with the napkin. While in reality he was showing her a message:

 **ARE WE BEING WATCHED?**

For a moment she looks surprised, but she quickly nods. Dipper hands her the napkin while flipping it over. Revealing another message:

 **BOMB(1) or HOSTAGE(2)?**

At this point she's doing a slow dance with Dipper. Quickly she makes a #1 gesture with her hand then taps her chest. Dipper nods. Making sure to pull her closer to obscure everyone's view. He then sets to work tearing off the front of her dress to reveal the large, alien bomb wrapped around her chest.

 **5:00**

 **4:59**

 **4:58**

Pacifica blushes at this...but says nothing. Dipper leans forward and whispers into her ear. "I have an idea...but your not going to like it." Pacifica flusters even more feeling his warm breath on her face. "Just do what you have to." She whispers back. Dipper nods. He quickly types more buttons on his wristwatch to send a coded message to the girls.

For a couple minutes time seemed to slow down...Pacifica lost herself in the dance. She didn't know why...Maybe it was how he stood up to her earlier...Maybe it was how quickly he deduced what was going on...Maybe it was how confidently he danced and held her...But whatever the reason...She'd never felt more safe being held in his arms-

 **BEEP!**

Went the fire alarm as the sprinklers sprayed...green goop!? Pacifica watched incredulously as the goop fell and dissolved the bomb...And her clothes!

Pacifica turned scarlet and covered herself. Dipper smiles as he sees where tambry tampered with the water supply. He nods as he sees her run to grab them some clothes. Everyone else at the party panicked and ran.

Dipper blushed as she saw Pacifica's bare body quiver and shiver from sudden exposure to the cold. _There's no way this girl is 12._ Thought Dipper to himself. Despite the situation Pacifica couldn't help but giggle at the sight of Dippers bare body. Dipper rolls his eyes. "Yes, I'm ridiculously tiny. I know, go ahead and laugh. The important thing is that your safe-

 **PACIFICA NORTHWEST! GET OUT HERE NOW!**

Screams a voice over the loudspeaker at the same time a large ringing sound could be heard. Pacifica screams as if in pain and runs outside while covering her ears. "Pacifica! Wait! Come back!" Shouts Dipper as he runs after her.

But it's too late. The moment she gets over the mystic boundary line, she's grabbed by a toady and they disappear. "No." moans Dipper in defeat.

…...

Five laughs as he watches Pacifica have a seizure every time he rings a bell. "'Chekhov's gun'...what a marvelous plot device! Am I right?" YOU ARE RIGHT LORD FIVE! Shouts all his toadies at once.

Five gave a dismissive hand wave. "Right, enough of that! Places everyone! Opening night was good...But the final act needs to be **killer...**

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	11. Chapter 11

**Dipper 2.0: Proactive edition ch.11**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

It was pioneer day! A day for candle Dipping, gold panning, and other pioneer recreation activities. Not for Dipper though...He was on a mission.

He'd gotten a letter in the mail. **Want your girl back? Come to pioneer day, come alone.** Dipper didn't really have a choice about coming alone. His impromptu ritual to fuse the phoenix essence into Wendy had started to destabilize and make her ill. Dippers quick thinking managed to re-stabilize her. She was fine now...but she'd be out of commission for the next couple days. And even if Tambry was a fighter(which she isn't), someone needed to stay with Wendy in case she destabilized again.

So he had to go it alone. Fortunately, since the coliseum he'd been exercising and building up his physical strength as well as his mystic strength. It had progressed nicely, with the help of one or two mystic 'shortcuts'-

"Here-ye! Here-ye! The opening ceremonies are about to begin! Come one! Come all!" Announced Sheriff Blubs.

Not knowing what else to do, Dipper followed everyone to the town square. Once he got there; he looked around. He saw Durland, Blubs, Old Man Mcgucket, The guy who married a woodpecker, The people who Dipper could only assume were Pacifica's parents, and-

 _PACIFICA!_ Thought Dipper to himself. His first instinct was to run up and hurry her away. But he swallowed that down and analyzed the situation.

 _She's sitting down at the back of the stage...she's all by herself...no guards or anything...So yeah, definitely a trap._

Dipper activated his glasses and examined the area. Sure enough, he saw a couple demonic snipers on multiple rooftops. He also saw mystic, invisible restraints that kept her immobile and unable to speak. Her parents...Were perfectly fine and unrestrained?

Dipper frowned, he switched through every spectrum on his glasses and focuses on her parents...but still nothing.

 _Well that doesn't make any sense...What's going on here?_

At this point Preston Northwest clinked his glass signaling it was his time to speak. "Good people of Gravity Falls! Thank you one and all for once more coming to honor the memory of our towns founder and **my** ancestor; Nathaniel Northwest!"

Everyone(except Dipper and Pacifica) cheered. "But this year I'd like to do something different. Talking about the past is great and everything; especially when it's about **my** family...But what about the future? More importantly; the future of **my** family?"

The crowd, confused by this sudden change in topic and tone. Simply looked at him bewildered.

Preston simply smiled. "I have recently made a very lucrative deal that will put my family and this town on the map."

Still confused but happy for the apparent good news concerning their town, the crowd applauded. Dipper however was getting a very bad feeling about this...

Preston waited for the applause to die down. "Yes, a grand day all around!...there's just one itty-bitty, teeny-tiny, little catch."

Blubs groans. "Bet yah 5 bucks this involves timeshares somehow." He whispers to Durland who just nods.

Preston gave a dismissive hand wave. "It's nothing too big...JUST YOUR LIVES!"

"Oh, well that doesn't sound so- WAIT, WHAT!?" Shouted Blubs right before two sniper rounds hit both him and Durland in the heads, killing them both instantly.

The town just stares at this uncomprehendingly-

Then the flying saucers show up guns ablazing, and all hell breaks lose. "Come wife!" Shouts a man to a woodpecker. Right before several giant, continuously drooling, one-eyed beings, with eight tentacles, and red eye-pupils; teleported down from the ships and bashed him to bits with boards with a nails in them.

Suddenly the snipers vanished and the restraints dissipated off Pacifica. Quickly, she ran and hide behind Dipper.

Preston laughed. "Ah Dipper Pines! The man of the hour! Prepare thyself! For I'm finally fulfilling the Norhtwest conspiracies 5000 year pledge! By the power of Nostradamus, JFK, Roswell, And the Milkman...I invoke the power of...Mt. Everest's invisible Twin Kilimanjaro?"

A bewildered Preston pulled out his script. "Quest for the Quantum Leowitz? Ruling the Animal Kingdom? The prophecy of the Lunar Munchkins?...Who wrote this crap!?" He exclaims out loud.

 **CUT!**

Despite being used to strange things at this point. Even Dipper was weirded out at the sight of the horrifying, floating, electrified catfish...thing. Pacifica hastily explains that it was behind all this.

"Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Please stick to the script Mr. Northwest!" "But this script is nonsense!" Exclaimed Preston. "First of all; 5,000 years!? The Northwests have only been in power 150 years! And Kilimanjaro isn't invisible! And it also doesn't have anything to do with Everest! It's in Africa for crying out loud! Did you do any research about this planet?"

Five gave a dismissive hand wave. "Bah! True visionaries don't allow silly things like 'facts' or 'the truth' get in the way of their goals! And I'll have you know that that script was written by the finest writers I could kidnap and hold at gunpoint!"

Preston gives him a weird look, before shaking his head dismissively. "Fine, whatever. But what's all this about Nostradamus and Roswell? You do realize the Northwest Family already has a conspiracy, right? Why can't we just use that for your 'movie'!?"

Five shrugged. "I presented that to marketing; and they felt that it would insult the Peanut Brittle sponsors too much. So I had to throw that whole concept onto the cutting room floor...By which I mean I cut up Quentin Trembley and threw him on the floor."

He glares. "Now enough complaints! Were losing daylight! Either we make this shot today, or you'll never walk in this town again!"

Preston gives him a weird look. "Don't you mean I'll never 'work' in this-

 **ZAP!**

 **GAH!**

Pizza guy screams as his legs were blown off. Five blows off the smoke on his finger. "I know what I said." He says with a smirk.

Preston pales. "Right then! We shouldn't dawdle then!" Five smirks. "Now that's more like it!" He rolls his eyes as he turns to his toadies. What a diva, am I right?" YOU ARE RIGHT LORD FIVE! They all chorus at once. "Right, TAKE TWO EVERYONE!"

Dipper just stared at this ludicrous scene in disbelief. He shakes his head. "It's going to be one **those** days...

He turns to Preston. "Wait, so your selling out your town and planet?" He asks in disbelief. Preston shrugs. "Yeah, pretty much." He confesses. "For one days work I get to rule the whole planet!"

Dipper looked at him in disbelief. "Doesn't it bother you that your working for the guy that strapped a bomb to your daughters chest?"

Preston shrugs. "I missed the part where that's my problem." Dipper's shoulder suddenly feels wet from Pacifica's tears.

Preston shrugs. "Now if you'll excuse me I have a performance to-

 **BANG!**

Preston's Gray matter feel to the floor...followed by the rest of his body quickly after. Dipper sighed. "I'm sorry Pacifica I-

"Don't be." Said a puffy eyed Pacifica. "You just fulfilled my deepest wish since I was five-

 **CUT!**

Shouts an irritated Five. "What was that!? You don't kill the Big Bad in the first Scene! That's basic Plot logic! Am I right!?" YOU ARE RIGHT LORD FIVE! Shouted his toadies.

Five frantically shouts for order and quiet on the set. _Okay, I think I've had just about enough of this nonsense._ Thinks Dipper to himself. He then summons his magic and points it toward a distracted Five to infect his energy. Hoping to end this quickly the same way he did with six-

 **ZAP!**

 **GAH!**

Cried out Dipper when the magic suddenly backlashed against him. Five turned to him with a smirk. "You didn't think I'd be as easy as Six did you? There's a reason why that joker was 'six' and I'm 'five'. Honestly, haven't you ever heard of the 'Sorting algorithm of Evil'? I mean really-

 **OH FOR THE LOVE OF- WILL YOU JUST KILL HIM ALREADY!?**

Shouts an inhuman voice from the sky. Five turned Deathly pale. "RIGHT! OF COURSE BOSS! GETTING RIGHT ON IT!"

He turns to his crew. "Change of plans people! Throw out the script! Just wing it! Just kill the boy!"

Suddenly all the UFO's and aliens began to focus on him. Dipper grabbed Pacifica and ran. Five laughed. "Let's raise the stakes! He shouts as he summons lightning to strike him. Dipper looks through his glasses amazed as Five used his body as a conduit to redirect the energy and send it a different direction toward the town randomly leveling large sections of it.

 _Interesting._ Thinks Dipper to himself right before aliens attacked. Now Dipper had not been idle since the coliseum. Not only had he been physically training, but he'd searching Gravity Falls for anything to give him an advantage.

The first thing he'd found was surprisingly close to home. A grappling hook that he found in his uncle's storage bins. Not only great for getting out of tight spots, but thanks to the addition of a 'cloud magnet'-

"GAH! I can't see!" Screamed an alien as Dipper pulled down yet another cloud to obscure the area around him(his glasses allowing him to see through it).

Seeing a large group of aliens head toward them Dipper whips out another thing he'd discovered: A size-changing stone. With this bad boy equipped to a flashlight, he turns the whole group into mini-aliens which he then stomps flat-

 **SKREE!**

Shrieked a soldier that popped out of nowhere in front of Dipper-

 **CRACK!**

Went the Gnome Battle fisticuffs that Dipper pilfered from the Gnome armory.

 **SKREE!**

Went a bunch of Aliens that were charging toward him-

 **WHACK!**

Went the 'Straight-Jacket of Terror'(Which was formerly the 'Fleece of Bedazzlement-Enhanced Sweater Sleeves', which Dipper renamed and re-modified since it reminded him too much of Mabel) that Dipper also pilfered from the gnome armory.

Finally, they got to the sewers. Finding one of the mini-hideouts he'd created throughout Gravity Falls. Dipper shrinks both of them down and he drags Pacifica inside.

"What are we doing? Shouldn't you be stopping him from destroying the town?" Asked a confused Pacifica. "Working on it!" Shouts Dipper as he opens his journal and begins to plan...

 **...Several hours later...**

Five looked over the ruins of the town. "Where is that boy!? Doesn't he understand that if you don't keep things exciting with non-stop action, the audience will get bored?"

Suddenly, he paled as his monitors grew dark. "My cameras! My beautiful cameras! What's happened to them!?" Suddenly he spots Dipper waving cheekily in one of the monitors, before he destroys it.

Fives snarls. "That tears it! Time for some 'Executive Meddling'! Am I right?" YOU ARE RIGHT LORD FIVE!

He flies to where his last camera was destroyed, the instant he sees Dipper he shoots a bolt of lightning-

 **ZAP!**

Only to gasp in surprise when Dipper uses his body as a conduit to redirect the energy back toward him! Fives body is engulfed by lightning...and then nothing happens.

Fives barks out a nasty laugh and sneers at Dipper. "That's it? That was your big plan? Throw my lightning back at me? Boy, lightning is my element! My specialty! My forte! My bread and butter! You might as well throw a water balloon at the ocean!"

Five rolls up his sleeves(or possibly fat folds...it was hard to tell). "I think it's time I showed this fool what true lightning is all about! Am I right!?" YOU ARE RIGHT LORD FIVE!

Five summoned every last spark of lightning in Gravity Falls and the surrounding areas. Far more than this puny human could ever hope to divert. He sucks it all up and readies to fire it- Only for it all to vanish. Five looked at himself confused.

"What in tarnation-

 **BOOM!**

Dipper smirks as that 'Trojan horse curse' he slipped into the lightning he redirected that Five greedily gobbled up; did it's job. It waited until he'd swallowed enough energy(and for it to stabilize and establish itself in , then sucked it all into itself and converted it into the opposite frequency of Fives energy...before releasing it back into his system.

Dipper quirks his eyes in surprise as the smoke clears; Five was still alive!...Broken, battered, and at the edge of death...but still technically alive...if the agonized screaming was anything to go by-

"GAH! My body! My beautiful body!" He turns to his toadies. "You will help me! Am I right?" YOU ARE WRONG LORD FIVE! Screamed the toadies as they hoped away.

Fives eyes widened in terror as he saw Dipper approach. "Wait boy! Let's talk about this! Spare me and I'll make you my Executive Producer!" Dipper pulls out his gun. "I'-I'll give you 100% of the box office profits! And the international! And inter-universal! And the inter-dimensional!" Dipper begins to reload. "I'll make you your own movie! Your own franchise! You'll have complete creative control!" Dipper points the gun toward his head. "Merchandising rights! Who doesn't want merchandising rights!? You-

 **BANG!**

After a moment of silence, Pacifica walks up to him as he lifts the carcass onto a wagon. Dipper turns to Pacifica. "So what are you gonna do now?" He asked nonchalantly.

Briefly thrown by how easily he got over killing a demonic creature with god-like powers. She quickly gathers herself. "Well, I found my 'mom' buried under the ruble...even though she never stopped my dad...she never 'helped' him either. So I helped her out...after I made her sign over all rights to the Northwest name, fortune, properties...Oh, and got myself emancipated too." She said with a smile.

Dippers eyes widened surprised and impressed. "Oh...Well good for you...I guess." Dipper looked around. "So where's your mom now?"

Pacifica shrugged. "Don't know, don't care. She's out of my life, that's all that matters. As for what I'm going to do with myself now...

Pacifica sighs. "Okay, you know what? I'm tried, I'm filthy, I'm hungry, I watched my dad's head get blown off, I've been shot at like fifty times, I've had several serious electrical shocks, and I had to eat a rat for breakfast...So I'm just going to come out and ask this-

She stares at Dipper intently. "Do you have a girlfriend?" Dipper blanched! He hadn't been expecting that at all! He turned scarlet. He thought about the other two girls in his life. "Uh...Maybe? I'm not really sure to be honest." He confessed.

Pacifica sighed. "Okay, I guess I can work with that." She said with a shrug as he helped the still very confused and flustered Dipper take all the creature carcasses and tech back to the Shack...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	12. Chapter 12

**Dipper 2.0: Proactive edition ch.12**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

For some reason, no one seemed to remember that Preston caused the destruction(Dipper resolved to look into that later). So Pacifica was in the clear there. Now for where she would live...obviously she couldn't go back to the mansion. Both because of it's lack of supernatural defenses...and because of all the bad memories. Which left the Shack, Which of course led to a problem with-

"ARE YOU CRAZY!? To hell I'm letting a Northwest live here!" Shouts Stan. Then to his shock Pacifica bowed respectively.

"Mr. Pines, I know that my family has treated you poorly, I apologize for that. But my parents are gone, my house reminds me too much of them- She pauses to start sobbing.

She desperately tries to pull herself together. "If we can bury the hatchet, I'll be forever in your debt."

Stan just looked at this uncomfortable. "Uh, well...the thing is...we don't really have any room-

"I'll just share Dippers room." Said Pacifica flatly as she went to do just that. Stan sighed. "Why dose that not surprise me?"

When Stan wasn't looking Pacifica broke her 'sad girl facade' to flash a triumphant smile toward Dipper. Who in turn can't help but give her a thumbs up impressed. She flusters at this as she goes upstairs.

When she's gone. Stan turns to Dipper. "Dipper, I will let you off the hook for chores the rest of the summer if you tell me your secret about how your getting all these woman! I'll be happy and will make a fortune selling it to rubes!"

Dipper frowns as he thought on this. "I don't know...it just sorta happened...Maybe Karma is finally making up for my cruddy life or something?"

Stan frowns at this as he goes into deep thought. "Kinda vague...doesn't do me any good...but with the right marketing we could some money off a thew saps."

Dipper just shakes his head and goes upstairs...

…...Several days later...

"You did what to Lady Four!?" Exclaimed the praying mantis over the psychic link. He hissed in irritation. "Look I don't care when you stalk lower life- Forms but I needed her for my plan! You've completely thrown off my-

He pauses to shake his head and tries to calm himself. He reaches into a nearby pig pen and gobbles up a little 15-pound piglet. "Look, you'll just have to take her place; I'll just seal up 50% of your power for now- DON'T QUESTION ME! You'll still have a major power advantage...you'll just have to cool it with the time travel a bit-

 **ZAP!**

Suddenly, a pathetic, bald guy in a Grey jumpsuit pops out of thin air-

 **ZAP!**

Only for him to be incinerated by the mantis. "Yeah, were not doing that." It said flatly.

Meanwhile, back at the Paradox enforcement HQ...Everyone celebrated the news of Blendin's death...

"Are you a witch?" Asked Sprott. Mantis gives him a weird look. "Seriously? I'm a giant, talking mantis...and that's the first thing you think to ask?"

Sprott responds with a shrug. Mantis responds with eating him...

...The next day...

"WOW! It's good to be up and about!" Shouts Wendy, excited that her powers had stabilized and she was out of bed. Currently, her only power was immunity to all forms of heat and fire. But Dipper believed he could eventually upgrade them.

Speaking of Dipper, he was a bit annoyed being dragged from his research on that giant tooth he found at the beach just to go to a fair. On the other hand he did enjoy spending time with the girls.

Pacifica, meanwhile contemplated her current lot in life. After such a dramatic wake-up call; she did want to be a better person than her family...Still, when one lived around manipulating, backstabbers...it was hard not to absorb some of that malevolent cunning(out of self-preservation, if nothing else).

Pacifica really was trying to tone down these more nastier traits of hers...still, they were there.

Firstly, she did like Dipper as a person...but like many Northwest woman before her she was also attracted to the power he wielded(it didn't help that unlike those other woman who had to settle for stupid and feeble(yet rich) aristocrats; she had the opportunity to be with a Real Man with REAL power with a capital P).

Secondly, she had her Northwest-inherited ambition. Now she had this mostly under control...she wasn't going to do anything mean or underhanded to get what she wants...On the other hand she didn't see why she couldn't simply use her own unique traits to work her way up to being the alpha girl of the group.

She again ran through both her's and the other girls strengths in her head...she didn't have a lot. The other girls were older than her, prettier than her, Stronger than her(especially Wendy), and smarter than her(especially Tambry).

But she did have two advantages over them. One; despite the many advantages of being older...their was the inherent drawback of social awkwardness of trying to have a relationship with someone younger than them. But being the same age as him, she didn't have that!

She'd already taken advantage of this to convince the others that she should sleep in Dippers bed(Dipper tried to be a gentlemen and just sleep on the floor(which was sweet); but she wasn't having any of that!); while the other girls shared the spare bed(much to their annoyance).

Two; it was quite clear from the get-go that the best way to win Dippers heart was through his love of exploring all things supernatural. At first glance it looked like Wendy(with her fighting skills) and Tambry(with her research expertise) had her beat there...But last she checked Brawn and Brain(although useful) doesn't pay the bills...but she could.

Yes, with the vast(if mostly ill-gotten) Northwest fortune at her disposal, she; more than the others was pushing along Dippers research.

Of course, Dipper(being the wonderful and adorable guy he was). Didn't like the idea of being a burden to her; so he began collecting obscene amounts of treasure from all over Gravity Falls. This didn't bother Pacifica one bit! She simply pointed out that someone would need to convert the treasure into good old U.S. Benjamin's; and that she was the only one with the economic know-how to do so! Thus giving her one more way to contribute to the group!

Not only that but she was already thinking up ways she could make money off the size changing crystals, Percepshroom, Teeth of Truth, and anything else Dipper collected.

Yes, all things considered. Pacifica felt very good about her-

 **FWOOM!**

The fair was on fire! "No refunds! We are not liable! Check the back of your ticket!" Shouts Stan as he grabs the cash-box and runs like there's no tomorrow.

Wendy sighed. "This should surprise me, but it doesn't." She said in a resigned way.

"What about me? Am I a surprise?" They turn around and saw something that looked like a stereotypical hovering, top-heavy, smokey-tailed genie...that was soot-black, had 5 burning coals for eyes, and a pony-tail-like antenna hanging down the back of his head.

Wendy shrugged. "Not really, no." She stated flatly. The creature simply looked at them bewildered. Dipper also sighed. "Let me guess; 4 something?" "Uh...King 3 actually." Said the creature who was very confused by the lack of screaming he was used to.

Dipper quirked his eyebrow confused. "3? What happened to- He shook his head. "Actually, never mind. I don't really care." He admitted with a shrug.

He looks at 3. "Okay, we had a blood-sport addict, a crazed film director...so what's your quirk?"

"Uh...I'm a serial-arsonist, y-you do see that I'm a monstrous entity of unknown power and origin, right?" He asked perplexed.

They all shrugged. "Yeah, but at this point it's all just sort of 'meh'." Explained Dipper nonchalantly.

3 growled. "Well, is this meh!?" He exclaimed enraged as he sent out a wave of fire that incinerated everything around him.

Thanks to Dippers protections; Tambry and Pacifica although incapacitated were relatively okay. Dipper; thanks to having both his standard and experimental protections is (although still in bad shape) much better off.

Wendy meanwhile, is completely unharmed. "I'm still going with 'meh'!" She mocked

3 growled. "Lucky for you, the boss gave me strict orders not to directly fight you...yet." He snaps his fingers; causing three rifts in time and space to open. Out pops a horribly burned guy with knives for hands, a guy with a hockey mask and chainsaw, and a freaky clown that seemed to be made of 0's and 1's!

3 shrugged. "Alright, boy's I'll leave this to- "Hey, how come my powers aren't working!?" Shouts the burnt man.

3 sighed. "Look, I'm temporarily on a bit of 'budget', so I couldn't download all your powers. The only thing I could get for you at the moment was your self-healing capabilities-

"Nuts to that! I'm out of here!" Shouts the burnt man as he turns to leave-

 **CHOMP!**

Dipper only pauses in his attempts to get Pacifica and Tambry to safety long enough for the glasses to show him 3 assimilating the burnt guys mystic essence into his being as he ate his flesh. _Interesting..._ Thinks Dipper to himself as he drags the unconscious girls to safety while Wendy stays behind to hold them off.

"Anymore complaints?" Asked 3. The other two quickly shake their heads-

 **BANG!**

The clowns head exploded from the mystically enhanced slug that Wendy just shot. 3 shrugs and vanishes. The chainsaw guy ducks for cover.

Wendy also ducks for cover and watches the clowns corpse. She was certain that her theory was right, but she'd keep her gun pointed at him just in case.

Sure enough, his head regenerated...but he was completely comatose. Wendy smirked, she'd been right! The brain was too complex an organ to regenerate properly! Thus leaving the digi-clown in a vegetable state! But just to be sure, she shots him in the head again...this time it doesn't regenerate. _Huh, I wonder why?_ Thinks Wendy-

 **BZZZ!**

Her train of thought is interrupted as she barely avoids getting her chopped off by a chainsaw. She quickly runs away. The chainsaw guy follows. Wendy dodges and weaves through the trees. She smirks as he slices through them all in a blind rage. _Shouldn't be long now, any second-_

 **CRACK!**

The man looked at his chainsaw as it fell apart, perplexed-

 **BANG!**

"Word to the wise genius! Chainsaws might be awesome, but they suck as a practical, long-term weapon!" Mocks Wendy as she waits for the head to heal back, before shooting it again. And once more, it didn't grow back. _Maybe the brain is so complex that they use up all their magical mojo when they heal it the first time?...Well whatever, the important thing is that their dead._

Knowing Dipper will want to study them, she chains up the corpses, stuffs them with bombs, and drags them back to the Shack.

Wendy smiles as she drags her war trophies and the reality of what she'd done sank in. Ever since she'd been introduced to the supernatural side of the world...she'd gone from tomboy to damsel in distress...Not today though! Today she was a heroine! Feeling drunk on her accomplishments and power she reaches into the ruins of a nearby ball toss game and swipes a stuffed creature of indeterminate species.

Her eyes turned to the Shack. She knew one thing though...she no longer gave a crap about social taboos! Tambry and Pacifica could sleep in the hallway for all she cared! Tonight she gave the man she loved a limp or five!...

…...

Dipper thought about what he observed earlier as he looked at the corpses of 6 and 5. _Maybe if I put ketchup on them it'll be less disgusting?..._

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **Pacifica being the financial backer of the group was an idea given by "The Howling Behemoth". Evil soldiers being summoned was an idea given by "Keeper of Worlds"**

 **AN: Just to be clear Pacifica will have shades of being a 'token evil teammate.' She won't do anything mean or evil, but if she see's an opportunity to get closer to the man he loves(as long as it doesn't hurt anybody...or at least no one she knows), she'll take it! I hope that clears things up! If not review your confusion! I'll hopefully respond!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	13. Chapter 13

**Dipper 2.0: Proactive edition ch.13**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

King 3 once more created portals and summoned up minions; this time of a more higher caliber.

He summons Aizen the shinigami lord, Madara the super-ninja, Red Skull the Nazi-super soldier, and Taron the alien-dragon!

King 3 sighs. "I apologize for being unable to bring you here with most of your powers. The best I could do is make sure that Aizen kept his Intelligence, Madara kept his Strength, Red skull kept his Charisma, and Taron kept his Luck!"

Again, he sighs. "Still don't get why I can't just kill them myself; or at least why I can't have all my power back"... He shakes his head.

"Whatever, that doesn't matter now. What dose matter is that you guys need to go out there and kill those kids!" All four of them nodded and headed out-

…...

Dipper had been having a good week. He had his first time with Wendy(neither knew what they were doing, but with the whole 'evil monster's coming to kill us' thing hanging over their head, they were just going to roll with it.) And thanks to a ritual he devised; he was able to successfully devour the corpses of 6 and 5. Which gave him a major power boost.

The powers weren't quite stabilized yet, but his training was helping him familiarize himself with it.

…...

Wendy had just completed her daily training regiment to increase her own personal power, and was now heading into the kitchen for a snack...

Where she sees a sullen Tambry. Wendy frowns. It was obvious her oldest friend had feelings for Dipper as well...and on top of almost(repeatably) getting killed by monsters AND having her family frozen; having the man she loved taken from her probably wasn't helping things.

 _True, I'm going through the same troubles...But at least I have Dipper to help me through it!...Tambry...Tambry has no one..._

After a moment of quiet contemplation, Wendy came to a decision. _What the hell, the situation is already so messed up...what's a little more crazy to add to the mix?_

She approaches Tambry. "Okay, this is gonna sound crazy inappropriate...but would you like to...share Dipper?"

Tambry looked at her amazed. "Really, you'd do that for me?" Wendy looked at her surprised. "Wow, I was sorta expecting some resistance or disbelief there."

Tambry gave her a look. "Wendy, a week ago I was nearly roasted by a monstrous genie that can summon evil clowns...I'm not going to look this gift horse in the mouth."

Wendy shrugged. "Fair enough." She conceded. There was a loud cough behind them. They both turned around to see Pacifica.

"Is this an exclusive thing or can anyone get in on this?" She asks in a cautious, courteous way. Wendy groaned, she was acting sweet now...but she was probably keeping the 'endured parental abuse' card ready in the wings if she said no.

"Okay, fine. But I went to Tambry first, so she has next dibs!" Said Wendy firmly. "Deal." Stated Pacifica as she shook hands with her.

Nearby, Stan. Having heard the later part...is about ready to pull his hair out! _Why him Paul Bunyan!? Why Dipper and not me!?_

…...

Dipper had been irritated at first when his investigation on that mysterious 'Lefty' guy; was interrupted by Wendy out of the blue insisting that he go with Tambry to play videogames at the arcade.

But after several hours of intense playing...he really was having a good time. "Wow Tambry, your really good." Admitted an impressed Dipper. She smirked. "Your not so bad yourself."

Dipper smiled as he kept rotating the joystick. "This was a good idea, I'm having a great time...

He sighed. -"Which probably means that were about to get ambushed." Both Tambry and Dipper quickly braced themselves...only for nothing to happen...

…...Several more fun hours latter...

Tambry and Dipper walked out of the arcade. "Huh, you'd think that would have been the ideal time to attack us...Still, I'm not going to complain-

 **BOOM!**

The arcade explodes in a massive pixel wave, sucking them back in...Dipper and Tambry suddenly find themselves in different parts of a strange digital world. _Of course._ They both think annoyed.

Fortunately, their com-links are still working. So they send a distress message to the other girls. And then talk to each other-

Or at least they tried to talk to each other, but were interrupted by a bunch of evil anthropomorphic fruits.

Dipper was able to beat them easily, but Tambry could only run! Dipper panicked. How could he save her!? Then through his glasses, he saw the digital remnants of the monsters he'd just defeated...and got an idea. He takes out a device he'd built while studying that strange rug he'd found at the Shack.

He then jury-rigs it into his com-link, he makes a few more tweaks and begins to suck the digital remnants up and transfer it's power to Tambry.

Tambry only got a small warning before her exploded with new energy and strength! Along with it came an I.Q. that went up several notches. Using it; she calculates how to hit one of them in just the right way-

 **GAH!**

-To send all three into a trajectory off the nearest cliff.

"Oh, yeah. This I can work with." States Tambry with a smirk.

 **Analog is so five terabytes ago  
Come inside this digital domain!**

After Dipper gave her enough juice, Tambry shots bursts of pixel energy out of her hands to burst some crazy cherries

 **We can all be heroes, in a world of ones and zeros  
We'll leave behind the boring and mundane. **

Tambry figures out how to hack Cheat Codes, and gives the cyclops a giant bobble-head. Which causes it to lose it's balance and fall...

 **Don't be the bug in my system  
Or else we're gonna crash and fall! Yeah, let's go digital!**

Tambry suddenly found herself in a maze straight out of Escher's demented imagination. She breaks herself down into basic 1's and 0's and flew over to the very end! She cheers!...before realizing she'd left her clothes behind...

 **(Let's go digital, yeah, let's go digital!)  
Yeah, let's go digital!  
(Let's go digital, yeah, let's go digital!)**

While swimming through a bunch of dangerous fish. Tambry gets the idea to fill their servers with an E-bomb; which fills them with so much junk mail they become slower or just crash altogether...it works!...and it gives Tambry an idea. She raises her hands and begins to focus on everything-

 **Virtual is so the only way to go,  
Cyberspace is really quite a trip.  
(Cyberspace is really-**

 **(BOOM!)**

 **(BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH)**

 _Well, at least that song finally stopped._ Thought a relieved Dipper even as the world literally fell apart around him.

Suddenly he was grabbed from behind, he turns to see an empowered...and naked Tambry.

"I just destroyed an entire world with a barrage of junk mail! I did that! Me!" She smiles suggestively at a now very flustered Dipper. "And I'd like to thank the Man who made it possible."

Dipper blanched. "Wha- Tambry you know me and Wendy- "Wendy's cool with it, we discussed it already." Interrupted Tambry.

Dippers eye's widened. "Wait, Don't I get a say in...Oh, who am I kidding? This is awesome!" Admitted Dipper. Tambry nodded...and then went to 'work'...

…...

Eventually they got out and found themselves in the control room where the mastermind...now sat dead. His skeleton picked clean by Pacifica, while a queasy Wendy watched.

Apparently Aizen had built the digital world to kill Dipper and Tambry. While sending Taron with a special weapon in a box to kill Wendy and Pacifica.

Despite the two's best effort, the guy was just too lucky! Pacifica brought out a gun, he throws a pencil that miraculously jams itself in the barrel! Wendy tries to punch him, she trips and accidentally punches herself!

The best they could do was get him far away from the populated areas, where he grew tired of the chase and opened the box to get the weapon-

Which activated the mini-nuke. Taron then learned the hard way that not even the luckiest man in the world can survive a small nuke at point-blank range.

Fortunately, for whatever reason. 3 seemed to have told his subordinates almost nothing about their targets...At least that's what seemed to have happened...they couldn't think of any other reason why Aizen wouldn't have known that it was a simple matter of Wendy sucking up the heat, flames, and radiation while shielding Pacifica to save themselves.

Although, saved. The whole ordeal left Wendy exhausted...and bloated. Which gave Pacifica the perfect opportunity to perform the ritual she observed Dipper doing to consume the remains of Taron and greatly boost her own Luck.

She saves her luck energy for when Wendy recovers and they'd tracked down Aizen. She then releases the Luck in their surprise attack; which led to a swift end for Aizen. Now she had to wait for the luck energy to replenish before using it again. Consulting the Journal, she believes training will allow her to extend it's usage and let her use it more efficiently.

She was then able to convince a reluctant(and disgusted) Wendy to let her devour Aizens corpse. Both because they'd need his Intellect to hack the supercomputer he built. And while Pacifica had no problem eating a corpse if it benefited her...It clearly repulsed Wendy no matter what.

Together, they begin to dismantle the computer and move it back to the Shack. All of them clearly thinking the same thing: They'd been hunkering down long enough! It's time they started taking the fight to them!

…... **  
**

Red Skull smirked at the new initiate as he ordered him to commit ritual suicide...then ordered the rest to gather the blood for the ritual...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: SORRY! ALMOST FORGOT! Keeper of Worlds gave me the list of villians, and Howling Behemoth gave me the 'transfer powers' idea**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	14. Chapter 14

**Dipper 2.0: Proactive edition ch.14**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

Dipper made gave everything one last check over. Tonight was Halloween...Which usually guaranteed something dark and supernatural occurring! They talked about it and they agreed, they were sick of playing defense! Tonight they took the fight to them!

For a brief moment Dipper had flashbacks of him being a cat, a salt shaker, a zombie- He shook his head of those depressing memories. _I couldn't save you Mabel...but I CAN save them._ Thinks Dipper to himself as he thinks about the three girls that had become so dear to him.

He looks to his bed where Pacifica still slept. Last night apparently had been 'her turn'...and he had enjoyed it. He was no Don Juan...but he was learning! And the girls were clearly liking it!...

…...

The Red Skull smiled as his plan came to fruition. Using his Charisma he'd gathered a great following! And their ritualistic suicides had helped bind this 'Summerween Trickster' to his will! Now he was feeding it the willingly given blood, bone, and flesh of his followers! Soon, it's power would be a thousand fold Especially on Summerween night! Soon, he'd-

 **BOOM!**

-"Remember guys! The only 'supposedly bogus local legend' about Summerween was this Trickster guy! So whatever happens tonight will probably be related to him! Since he apparently hates lack of 'Summerween spirit', so just blow up everything Sumerween related! He'll come at us in blind rage! Then we'll spring the trap!"

Wendy gives Dipper a confused look. "Uh, Dipper, I already know the plan. We all discussed it, why are you telling us again?"

Dipper blanched. "Right, sorry! A lot going on! Just keep firing!" They all nodded as they again began firing all their tactical nuclear catapult weapon(or FAT MANS) on all things with even the slightest hint of supernatural energy or Halloween connection.

 **BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!**

The miracle they were using was a result of examining the remains of the mini-nuke Aizen tried to kill them with, Tambry and Pacifica's new found intelligence...But mostly Tambry's new Technopathy powers that let her hack and infiltrate government R&D Labs!

...100 mushroom clouds later...

"Wait, so the first building we destroyed was our target all along?" Asked Wendy in disbelief. Dipper chuckled as he surveyed the wreckage of Red Skulls H.Q.

"Yeah...I guess we didn't have to nuke half the town...and surrounding areas"... Said Dipper sheepishly as he looked toward the ashen remains of the once tranquil town.

In hindsight...they may have gone overboard. They nuked the pool when they detected a sliver of paranormal energy...the skeleton indicated that it had just been a small mermaid boy...

They blew up a recording studio that showed high-tech energy readings...they would later discover it had just been some weirdo cloning boy bands...

He was broken from his musings as he heard a crunching noise behind him. He turned to Wendy and Tambry who looked in horror as Pacifica devoured Red Skulls corpse.

She dabbed her lips with a napkin. "Huh...it actually becomes pretty tasty after awhile...and the right seasonings." She admitted out loud in surprise. The other girls became green, while Dipper just looked contemplative...

"In any case, let's loot the place for anything useful and then go home...Odds are good that Stan didn't give out any candy...so we'll have that to look forward to"...

…...

"Right, I think that's enough of a handicap." Said the Mantis as he unsealed Three's power. "It's about time!" Shouts 3. He turns to Madara. "Alright buddy! Now we do things my way!" He shouts as his blaze rages! Madara simply looked at him with interest...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: Finally, Dipper justly earned the title of Proactive!...at the cost of the sense of security for an entire town...**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	15. Chapter 15

**Dipper 2.0: Proactive edition ch.15**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

It took time, but Dipper and the girls finally tracked the pterodactyl to an old abandoned church...and below it they find a whole new world...

Wendy kept watch, Tambry cataloged, Pacifica tried to figure out how they(but mostly her) could profit from this, And Dipper...he went exploring...

… **...An indiscernible amount of time latter...**

Dipper idly mapped various landmarks, gathered samples, and killed the occasional Dino.

Dipper sighed. _Right...let's get this over with. "_ What could possibly go wrong!?" Shouts Dipper out loud, deliberately tempting fate-

 **FWOOM!**

3 cackled as he appeared in a blaze. "HA! HA! HA! No more games boy! I'm at 100%! Now you-

 **SUCK!**

"Yeah, yeah. Get in the bag." Says Dipper as he opens a bag, sucking a screaming 3 inside. Quickly Dipper casts a spell to suck all the oxygen from the bag before sealing it-

 **squick**

-Just before getting a sword stabbed through his back and stomach for his trouble...

Madara smiled. His plan worked perfectly! First he offers Dipper an alliance to take down 3. He teaches him how to make a Bag of holding, where to get a magical orrery, teaches him the elemental magnetism spell so that 3 would be absorbed into the orrery's mini-sun...

Then sit back and kill the victor. Madara laughed. "Didn't see that coming; huh, smart guy?"

 **CHOMP!**

Dipper smirked as he sat on the mind-controlled T-Rex that just bite off Madara's head. "I could ask you the same question." He couldn't help but quip.

The 'Dipper' on the ground also smirked. 'He' deactivated the Shift-Stone, revealing Pacifica.

 _I am so glad I practiced that cannibalism ritual on those two jokers from the fair._ Thought Pacifica as she pulled the sword from her gut. It hurt like crap, but her healing factor was making short work of the wound.

"Good job Pacifica!" Shouted Dipper as he double-checked the Mind Control Tie before climbing down the dino. Pacifica beamed. _Watch out Wendy! I'm on my way to being the true alpha-woman of the group!_ Thought Pacifica as she got to work eating Madara's corpse...

…...

Gideon's opened his eyes and groaned as he rubbed his aching head. _W-what happened? I...I was confronting that Pines boy and...What happened then?_

"He blew your brains out Sherlock!" Gideon's eyes widened in horror at the sight of a strange triangle creature hovering above him!

"Wha- Who are you!?" Demanded a terrified Gideon. "Who me?" Said Bill innocently. "I'm just your friendly neighborhood demon...come to make a deal"...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **MERRY CHRISTMAS!**

 **GOD BLESS US EVERYONE!**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	16. Chapter 16

**Dipper 2.0: Proactive edition ch.16**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

Dipper groaned as he woke up. _Where am I?_ He thinks to himself as he looks around...he's in his **house!**

The one he grew up in...with Mabel. _Wait, what!? But it got burnt to the ground-_ Dipper pauses, takes a deep breath, and assess the situation calmly. _Okay...this is either an alternate reality, illusion, or dream world-_

"PSSST! I'd go for answer C!" Whispered the Triangle Demon that had just materialized next to Dippers ear.

 **GAH!**

Cried out Dipper as he instinctively tried to age the Demon into dust(a power he got from eating Three's corpse). But the demon just giggled. "That tickles! Sorry kid! Time-attacks don't work on beings from worlds where time doesn't exist!" Cackled the demon.

Dippers eyes widened...he remembered something about this in the journal...

He remembered now! The journal talked about him...warned about him...how he invades dreams-

Dipper cursed; there'd been so many **physical** threats...he'd focused on physical defenses, completely neglecting mental stuff!

He put that out of his mind, he needed to get him talking, stall for time while he thought of something-

"Y-your Bill, right?" He asked cautiously. "And your the Prayer's new chew toy!" Shouted Bill back at him.

"I- Prayer?" "Giant Mantis? Burned your house down? Killed your sister? Any of this ringing a bell?" Asked Bill.

Dipper's eyes widened. "I- it has a name?!" Exclaimed Dipper in disbelief. "Well, DUH! Those monsters that have been coming after you would have to call him something besides 'Master' now wouldn't they?"

"Wait, what?!" Exclaimed Dipper. "As much as I'd love to stay and play 20 questions with you Pine Tree; I need to go check to see how Gideon's handling your 'harem'. But don't worry! I've left you with plenty of company!"

And before Dipper could say anything else, the Demon had vanished. A flash of fear went through him concerning the girls, but he quickly calmed himself.

 _Relax, the girls are tough. They can handle whatever's being thrown at them. One problem at a time! Focus on now! Okay...This is a dream...so a nightmare will probably come after me, and my greatest nightmare is..._

Dipper turned deathly pale. He had a fairly good idea what was behind him...

 **Why didn't you save me Dipper?** Asked a Mabel with the top half of her head missing and various fluids and gray matter leaking from that...

…...

The girls were not having a good day, first Dipper gets possessed and goes into a coma-like sleep, then this joker in a giant robot comes to tear up the Shack!

Tambry tried to use her Technopath powers...but they fizzled out whenever she tried to do anything to the robot. The shrinking stone didn't work on it either! Not even Pacifica's newly boosted strength! Not even her luck! You can't be 'lucky' when you have a 0% chance to beat something!

Wendy growled. _All that hard-work...was that all for nothing? Everything is useless with this thing! Our strength, our skills, our powers, grappling hook, straight-jacket, fisticuffs, Shrink/Growth crystal...Wait a minute..._

…...

Gideon paled at the sight of the three giant woman that now towered over him. He chuckled nervously. "Now friends, I'm sure if we talk this over like civilized people-

 **BAM!  
CRACK!**

 **POW!**

…...

 _She's not real, she's not real, she's not real._ Repeated Dipper to himself as he plugged his ears and closed his eyes while running out of the room.

 _Okay Dipper, just remember every horror movie you've ever watched that involves nightmares...and you should be fine-_

It was at that point that Dipper bumped into something that was most decidedly not 'horror' themed...and more of the 'hentai' variety...

"Hey, Big Brother. I got a new 'dish', want a taste?" Asked a more 'mature' Mabel sensually as she let her robe drop.

Dippers eye widened as he vomited a bit in his mouth. _This is so wrong...on so many levels..._

… _..._

After destroying the robot, and permanently exorcising the brat from that homunculus body he was using(which they then quickly put in Dippers lab to research later).

They then take the journal from the lab, and use it to send themselves into Dippers mind...where they couldn't help but laugh.

"This isn't funny!" Shouted a mortified, queasy, naked Dipper as he frantically tried to claw out of the pile of naked, buxomus, lustful Mabel's.

The girls just kept laughing...

…...

After finally getting a hold of themselves; they rescued Dipper. As Dipper ran through the corridors of his mind with the girls; he explained his plan.

"As horrible as...'that' was...It reminded me of something equally as horrible...That Glob-awful movie: _Attack of the Exclamation Points!..._ which had this scene where the protagonist defeated his enemy by trapping it in his mind where he was in control...by making him eat chocolate...man, that's an hour of my life I'm never getting back." The girls nodded...that movie had made them puke!

…...

Bill Cipher looked down on them while invisible... _Okay, no more games- I have to kill this kid before Prayer's 'plan' goes into effect._

He raises his arms and is about to blast them-

 **ZAP!**

Before he, and the girls find themselves thrown from Dippers mind. Dippers eyes opened...and beheld the monster that haunted his dreams.

YOU! Exclaimed Dipper. "me." said Prayer simply. "Bravo on both you and your mates fighting off Bill...have a reward."

He drops Journal #2 on his lap...and vanishes... Leaving behind a very flummoxed Dipper. _He- he's not a wild animal...he's a sentient,, thinking creature...which means killing Mabel, tormenting me...was a_ _ **conscious**_ _choice...but why?_

To this...there seemed to be no answer...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	17. Chapter 17

**Dipper 2.0: Proactive edition ch.17**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

The last 72 hours had been...hectic, to say the least. After getting over the shock of what he'd learned from Bill; he focused on yet another revelation he'd made before he'd possessed...His uncle was not what he seemed...

He'd been primarily focusing on keeping his girls safe and the monsters dead...but occasionally he'd look into the Shack and his uncle's past...Something just wasn't adding up...

The records showed that Stanford Pines is a man who had 12 PHDs, and wrote a thesis that was nationally ranked...and the other day he saw Stan fail to grasp what a simple text was...

So, yeah. He'd become suspicious. He broke into Stans office...and found his fake I.D.'s...and the news report about 'Stans' death...

It was at that moment Bill possessed him...

…...

The instant Dipper got his bearings, they re-checked the defenses(which apparently the Prayer could get through at any time...which was unsettling to say the least.). They then had a 'talk' with Stan...

…...

OKAY! OKAY! I'LL TALK! JUST GET THIS OUT OF ME!

…...

After forcing him to put in the 'Teeth of Truth', he confessed everything; about his brother, about the portal, about the journals, about stealing his identity, about everything...

Dipper was concerned about the 'warning' given by Ford in the journal...But...if it was Mabel trapped in the void...wouldn't he do the same?

Eventually, Dipper decided to combine forces with Stan to save Ford...

 **GROWL!**

-And that's when the Zombies attacked...

It would seem that the horde that Dipper summoned a thew weeks ago- _Wait, how could it have been so short of an amount of time? Is their some problem with the flow of time in this town? Or-_ **CHOMP!** _Right! Theorize later! Protect loved one's now!_

Amway, the horde had apparently tripled in size(all those tourist traps were practically a buffet to them). Thankfully, Dipper and the girls had dealt with much worse. They made short work of them...However, as it turns out; this was all just for introductions sake...

…...

" _Let me guess...two?" Asked an unimpressed Dipper_

 _The creature that looked like a red-colored stereotypical demon smirked._

" _Emperor 2, at your disservice"..._

… _..._

Evidently this guy was all about religious themes...he tells them that they will only be allowed to face him when they face the 10 plagues of Egypt...Then vanished in a bolt of lightning...needless to say; the girls and Dipper weren't impressed...

…...

Before doing anything else Dipper brought all the corpse parts to his lab(he had an idea for later). He then uses the knowledge of all three journals to learn about Bill...but more importantly about mental defenses.

First they use mercury, moonstones, unicorn hair(Dipper for once, was actually glad Mabel wasn't alive to see what they had to do to that stuck-up, jerk 'princess') to create a mystic barrier around the Shack. Then as extra precautions; they bioelectrically encrypt their thoughts...and then put a non-magnetic, metal plate inside their heads(they were taking no more chances).

After a long, long day...the girls were finally successful of forcing Dipper to go to sleep...and feeling emboldened by their recent achievements, the girls got together and planned a special... 'surprise' for the man they loved when he awoke...

… **..Meanwhile, in a universe like theirs...but different...**

Dipper Pines was excited! That whole 'zombie attack' had been terrifying...but on the plus side, he now knew a new secret of the journal! Invisible inks! There was so much new stuff to discover...he didn't know where to begin!...While looking through it he learned about a hidden bunker made by the author...But also a very interesting teleportation spell...

He decides to flip a coin to see which he'll explore first. "Heads bunker, Tails spell!"

 **Now in another universe; Dipper Pines would have gotten heads and his life would have gone down a path your already familiar with...**

 **In Yet another universe; Dipper would realize that the ruin-array to make the spell was so fiendishly complicated that the chances of him not making a mistake with the few meager resources he had was so astronomically high that he gave up(that and Wendy came over because she was bored and wanted to watch lame B-movies with him). Thus once more setting things back on a path you should all be fairly familiar with...**

 **This is neither of those universes...**

… **...**

Dipper sighed as a repentant Soos helped him set things up. _Dang it soos...I was going to try and ask Wendy out!_ Soos had seen a bat on the T.V...Long story short: The T.V...and a good portion of the Shack was now busted.

Not wanting Wendy to leave, Dipper decided to re-try the teleportation spell to impress her. "Okay, not going to lie to you...I probably messed up the array...So I don't quite know what'll happen...most likely it'll just explode- "Still worth seeing!" Exclaimed Wendy excitedly.

Dipper flusters at his crush's praise, then nods. He puts the apple on the seal and activates the array. A black-hole sucks it up...and spits out the most crazy/wonderful/mortifying 'thing' that Dipper had ever seen...

…...

'Dipper' was annoyed...he'd just woken up and his girls had surprised him with an amazing foursome...only for all of them be sucked up naked and deposited in an unknown place. Dipper quickly, silently signals the girls to be quiet. He then looks around to observe his surroundings. _Huh...a ruin-array...Oh, the teleportation one!...Never got that to work right...I guess Uncle Ford didn't have the time to perfect it properly...wait, I recognize that gross monkey-shaped stain on the wall...this is my room!...But I never made a ruin-array here!...Which can only mean..._

Sure enough, he looks up and sees another 'him', another Wendy...and a fat guy? _Huh, there really was a small possibility of inter-universal travel...that should have left an opening in space-time that I can use to get us back...But I'll deal with that later..right now I need to calm the 'natives'._

 **(AN: to simplify things Dipper 2.0 will be...well, Dipper 2.0. And the new Dipper...will just be Dipper)**

Needless to say Dipper and his friends were...they didn't even know how to feel about this! How could you feel about watching another you; popping out of thin air naked and fracking other people that you know!?

Dipper 2.0 got up to his feet(much to Dipper and everyone else's embarrassment). "Okay, let's just get right to it...I'm another you from an alternate universe...Since you know what a ruin-array is...I'm hoping were just similar enough for you to help me...any questions?"

"Is that how small Dippers wang is?" Asked Soos curiously. _Seriously? That's the first question you ask?_ Thinks Dipper 2.0 incredulously. His disbelief would only sky-rocket when a flustered Dipper babbles a denial.

 _Wow, did I really used to be like that?_ Thinks Dipper 2.0. _Getting so hung up on the most stupid of things?_ In any case...it was annoying.

"Okay, first of all. Your the worst liar ever! Second, so you have a small wang? So what!? There are worst fates, man! I lost-

 **HELLO!**

Shouts a familiar voice as a door is smashed down in a familiar way. Everyone was deathly silent as Mabel walks into the room carrying a pitcher of Mabel juice.

"Hey guys! I thought you could use a drink of- GAH! MY EYES! DIPPER, COVER YOURSELF! Shouted Mabel as she covered her eyes and dropped the pitcher.

Dipper 2.0 didn't cover himself...he was too busy crying. "Mabel...is that really you?" Suddenly Mabel found herself being hugged by her very naked brother. "Whoa! Okay, what's happening here?!" Exclaimed Mabel as she shuddered with revulsion.

"Mabel! I missed you so much!" Sobbed Dipper 2.0 as he hugged harder. "Okay! Feeling a lot of things I never needed to feel!" Exclaimed a mortified Mabel as she desperately tired to NOT think of what's pressing against her body.

Dipper 2.0 couldn't help but eat one of her nacho earrings. "HA! Stale and disgusting! Just like you always tricked me into eating! I missed that!" Exclaims Dipper 2.0 deliriously happy as he sobs. "And your still using that disgusting self-made shampoo!" He exclaims as he sniffs her hair. It's horrible! I love it!"

Okay! Sniffing my hair! You just sniffed my hair! I am beyond uncomfortable right now!" Screamed Mabel as she tried (and to her surprise, failed) to overpower her brothers grip...

Dipper 2.0's girls just smiled happily. Dipper and his friends just looked at this with shock. "What just happened?" Asked a bewildered Dipper.

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: this new universe takes place between 'Scary-oke' and 'Into the Bunker' and was completely cannon until then.**

 **Would anyone like to make suggestions what Dipper 2.0 and his girls should do here?**

 **I would also like to put a demonic twist on the 'Ten plagues', any suggestions?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	18. Chapter 18

**Dipper 2.0: Proactive edition ch.18**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

"Wait...So I die?" Asked Mabel in horrified disbelief. The last couple of hours had been...interesting. Dipper nearly had a heart attack when he realized his doppelganger had not one but three girls! He'd especially been amazed by his powers!

Of course, there'd been some awkward moments...

…...

" _Heh, I bet my other self is really badass!" Exclaimed Soos. Dipper 2.0 looked at him confused. "I'm sorry...who are you?" He asked puzzled. There was a long, awkward pause. Soos chuckled nervously. "It's me. Soos." He points out._

 _Dipper 2.0 continued to look baffled. "Nope, sorry. Don't remember anyone like you." Then Wendy 2.0 snapped her fingers in realization. "Oh! Soos! Wow, I completely forgot about him!" She turns to Dipper._

" _He was that other employer who worked with me at the beginning of Summer. Made that really bad and awkward first impression on you when you first got here." She explained._

 _Dipper 2.0's eye's widened in remembrance. "Oh, right! Him!...whatever happened to him?" Wendy 2.0 shrugged. "I think he died or something? I don't really remember." She admitted nonchalantly. Dipper 2.0 shrugged. "Oh, well. What can you do? You got any food? Were starving?" He asks Dipper and his friends as they just gawk at them..._

…...

That had been a bit of a shock; not only had a lot of people died in the 2.0 universe...but Dipper 2.0 seemed to not even care! Sure, he and his girls loved each other and were willing to die for each other...But everyone else(Stan was a possible exception)...not so much...

…...

" _Dipper this isn't like you! What happened to the Dipper who dreamed of being a hero, and saved everyone?" Asked a horrified Mabel. Dipper 2.0 sighed. "I'm pretty sure he died when he saw his little sisters head get bitten off..._

…...

 _Yeah, that would probably do it._ Admitted Dipper to himself. He couldn't even imagine going through with that!...Dipper was very torn about how to feel about his other self. On the one hand he was a badass ladies man...on the other hand...he didn't have Mabel...and he seemed 'poorer' for it in some ways...

He shakes his head of that and asks something that had been troubling him for awhile. "Hey listen about- about the girls...before I ask the obvious bazilion questions...I gotta know...Why Pacifica?"

Dipper 2.0 looks at him confused. "Why not Pacifica?" Asked Dipper 2.0.

Dipper tried to think of a nice way to put this. "Look...no offense- Your Pacifica seems nice...but our's...kinda a bitch"...

Dipper and Mabel were amazed at how quickly the room temperature went down. …."I see...So **He's** still alive here...so that's why my Pacifica left without telling me...good for her"...

 _Huh...now that he mentions it...I haven't seen his Pacifica or Tambry for awhile now...where did they go?_ Thought Dipper...

…...

 **ZAP!**

 **GAH!**

Screamed Preston Northwest. Pacifica 2.0 smirked. "Now, now father. You have to obey the bell...you want to be a good boy, don't you?" She said ironically...

…...

Wendy and Wendy 2.0 sat in the kitchen together. After some small talk and tip-toeing... "Okay sis, enough subtlety...Ask me about how I was f****** Dipper sideways with those other two girls *****!" Teased Wendy 2.0. "I know your dying to ask how he tastes!"

The frank ludenes of the statement made Wendy scarlet and stammer denials(although admitting she was curious about the first half of the statement).

 _Wow...did I really used to be such a prude? Wow, amazing how some near-death experiences can change you! Also, this is going to be fun..._ Thought Wendy 2.0 with a smirk...

…...

Desperately wanting to get their minds off the horrible revelations about Pacifica that Dipper 2.0 had explained. Dipper tried to bring up a better subject...Namely the Journals...this went great! ...until-

"Wait, you've only now found out about the invisible ink?" Asked Dipper 2.0 surprised. "Didn't you use your forensic kit on the Journal when you first found it?"

Dipper sighed irritably. "I would have...if SOMEONE hadn't broken it trying to cook 'rainbow spaghetti'." He says while glaring at Mabel.

"Hey, it was a tasty dish!...minus the food poisoning." Stated Mabel awkwardly. Dipper 2.0 immediately tried to deflect the argument.

"Hey!...how excited where you when you asked the toad sage your question?" Dipper 2. 0 quickly asked

Dipper gaped "The toad sage- He's real!?" He turns around to glare at Mabel. "Thanks a lot Mabel! You made me miss the chance of a lifetime!" Mabel glared back. "Oh, don't give me that! You liked building that mini-golf course in my room!"

Dipper 2.0, frantically tried to figure out a way to stop them from arguing-

Thankfully, they were distracted by something on the T.V. "Ugh, it's 'Gideon big house' again! Turn it off!" Said a disgruntled Mabel.

Dipper 2.0 turned to the T.V. "Gideon?" He asked confused, recognizing the name. Dipper and Mabel then explained to him about their version of Gideon.

Dipper 2.0 frowned at this. "Okay...you threw him into jail...then what?"

Now it was Dipper and Mabel's turn to look confused. "Then...nothing. He's in jail now; so we don't have to worry or think about him anymore!" Exclaimed Mabel happily.

Dipper 2.0 looks at them in disbelief. "You don't- You don't have to worry about a murderous sociopath, with supernatural knowledge, charismatic enough to wrap the entire prison around his finger, who's guarded by the likes of Blubs and Durland!?" Shouts Dipper 2.0 incredulously.

The twins pale. "Yeah...we kinda prefer not to think about it." Admitted Mabel awkwardly.

"Well start thinking about it! Preferably before he slits your throats while you sleep!"

Dipper groaned. "Look, what do you want from us? He's in jail, what more can we do?" Asks Dipper exasperated.

"Kill him." Stated Dipper 2.0 flatly. The twins looked at him uncomprehendingly. Mabel laughed nervously. "Good one bro."

Dipper 2.0 gave them a weird look. "What? I'm being serious here!" Dipper gaped at him. "Dude, you can't just kill people!"

"Sure I can. Watch!" He shouts out a spell and shoots lightning at the T.V. Within seconds; Gideon and his entire gang are blown to bloody bits.

"See? It's that simple." Stated Dipper 2.0 matter-of-factly. The twins didn't answer...Dipper was too busy vomiting...and Mabel was too busy crying...

…...

-"Between the fact he's going to be 13 in a month or so(thus making the age gap even smaller), and the fact he risked his life and sacrificed his dignity for you(something that most guys will never have the courage to do)...would it really be such a bad thing to give him a chance?" Asked Wendy 2.0.

Wendy frowned as she went into deep thought. "Well"... "-Also, considering you have a triangle demon that wants to bring about the end of the world...having a _carpe diem_ attitude probably wouldn't be the worst thing to have." Pointed out Wendy 2.0

Wendy turned deathly pale at that statement-

 **BOOM!**

"Hold that thought!" Shouted Wendy 2.0 as the Shack shook, and a familiar malevolence washed throughout the place.

Everyone(including Tambry and Pacifica; who'd just now returned) ran into the twins room; where they saw a familiar face.

"Miss, me Dipper?" Asked the Prayer

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	19. Chapter 19

**Dipper 2.0: Proactive edition ch.19**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

 **AN: Could someone help me out? For some reason my computer is refusing to let me see any new reviews. Whenever I try to look them up it says; 'No Reviews Found'. I'd appreciate it if someone could message me a solution!**

…...

"Hello Mabel; you don't know me but I sorta ate your head." Explains Prayer as he snaps his pincers. Causing windows in time to open up; replaying the scene of the top part of Mabel's head getting bitten off.

Everyone(except the 2.0 crowd) were vomiting and crying. Dipper 2.0 glared as he slammed his hand into the invisible ruin-array on the wall to activate the defense system...only for nothing to happen.

Dipper 2.0 slammed his hand into the wall where the invisible ruin-array was _supposed_ to be a couple more times...

Confused; he looks to Dipper. "Why isn't the defense system working?" He asks. "Defense system? What defense system?" Asked Dipper confused as he finally stops vomiting.

Dipper 2.0 looks at him in disbelief. Prayer laughs. "It's worse then you think, he hasn't even figured out that the Shack once belonged to the Author!"

"The Shack once belonged to the Author!?" Exclaimed Dipper in amazement.

Prayer just shook his head. "The sad thing is that even after finding the photocopier and the rug; he still didn't make the connection!"

The 2.0 gang just looked at Dipper incredulously. Dipper 2.0 rubbed his temples in annoyance.

"Let me see if I have this straight: You find a body-switching rug and a cloning photo-copier in a house that's within walking distance of the place you found the journal...and you didn't find that the least bit suspicious!?" Exclaimed Dipper 2.0 in amazed disbelief.

Dipper flustered and dose a shy finger-twiddling gesture. "I...I had other things on my mind at the time." Said Dipper lamely. _Best I don't mention I was distracted by impressing Wendy and winning a contest against my sister...wow, that just sounds lame given the current context._ Admits Dipper to himself. "And...I guess I kinda just labeled them under 'normal Gravity Falls weirdness'...and just put it out of my mind?" He confesses awkwardly.

The 2.0 crowd just shook their heads in disappointment. Dipper hangs his head in shame. "I'm sorry."

Prayer just laughed. "Don't look so glum my boy! For once, this isn't your fault!" Dipper looked at him confused. "Really?"

Prayer nodded. "Think about it; this badass ladies man is you! Everything he is, you could be! The potential is there! You just have to realize it!"

He smirks wickedly. "And cut out the dead wood in your life; of course." Dipper looks at him confused. "Deadwood? What do you mean?"

Prayer shrugged. "Think about it. What dose he have, that you don't? Or rather; what do **you** have that he doesn't? What's the major divergent point in your lives?"

Everyone's eyes widened in horrified realization to what he was suggesting. "Me?" Whimpered Mabel.

Prayer rolled his eyes. "No, the hairless gopher." He says sarcastically pointing at Soos. "Of course you! Between your non-stop goofing around distracting Dipper. And your overindulgence in Aesop amnesia to consul your fear of growing up. Your nothing but a hindrance to Dippers growth!"

He laughs. "You seriously thought he was the sidekick in this!? Face it! Your a zany sit-com Cloudcuckoolander trying to assert your Wrong-Genre Savvy onto a supernatural town with a dark secret! Last I checked that was Dippers forte; not yours!"

Mabel just gaped at him uncomprehendingly. "Y-your wrong!" She shouted. Prayer smirked. "Am I? Let's review the facts!"

He turns to the windows in time to show various scenes. "Every time Dipper had a chance to be happy, you snatched it away for yourself!"

He points to the scenes of the fair. "Dipper had a chance to keep his love interest from getting injured; but when you threw a tantrum to get your pig back-

 _AAAAHH! MY EYE!_

"Wait, what!?" Exclaimed an irritated Wendy as she watched herself get hurt. Prayer tsked. "You put a pig over the health of your friend? Girl, your priorities are messed up!"

Mabel quivered under Wendy's accusatory glare. "Wha- I- No, that's not-

But Prayer has already moved onto another scene "Dipper gets a job at the pool; dream job with the woman he loves. But surprise; surprise! You force him to give it up so you can play kissey-face with a merman!"

"Seriously Mabel, what the hell!?" Screams an irritated Wendy after seeing everything. "I was really looking forward to Dipper working beside me! Why didn't you just ask us for help in the first place!? We would've kept mermandos secret! We would've helped!"

Mabel was crying now. "I'm sorry! He's right! I messed up everything for Dipper! If it weren't for me; he'd have everything! He'd be better off if I'd died-

 **SLAP!**

Everyone gasped. Dipper 2.0 just struck Mabel across the face! He glares at her. "If you EVER say that again...I'll smash your teeth in!"

He sighed. "First of all; you do realize your **believing** the words of an omnicidal maniac!? Second; he's conveniently leaving out all the other factors that made me what I am: Killing our parents, burning our house down, me being forced to live in Gravity Falls, my drive for vengeance, him constantly sending his goons to kill me, the trauma of watching a loved one being brutally murdered in front of me! All that, and more!"

He then looks Mabel deeply into her eyes. "Third...I meant what I said earlier...when you died; a part of me died too. You were like the Ying to my Yang...With you gone...I just...I just stopped caring about other people...I didn't even really think of them as 'people'...more like obstacles or tools that I could use to get what I want...

He hangs his head in shame. "Hell; if it weren't for the guilt of not being able to save you fueling my protective urges...I probably would've just walked away and let me girls die." He admitted remorsefully.

Wendy 2.0 nodded sadly. "It's true...we've tried to help him with that the best we could...but it's so hard...you dying really messed him up Mabel. You probably don't realize it...but your very important to Dipper!" Asserted Wendy 2.0.

Prayer gave a dismissive snort. "Come on! Are you seriously telling me you'd give up everything you've gained; to bring back that!?" He shouts while pointing at Mabel with a sneer.

Dipper 2.0 looks at him with confident determination. "Yes." He says firmly. Mabel's heart lifted.

Prayer looked at him incredulously. "Your serious? You'd give up everything for her?" "Yes." Stated Dipper 2.0 again. Mabel's heart rose to even greater heights.

Prayer just shook his head. "Everything? Even your power?" "Yes." "The knowledge?" "Yes." "The wealth?" "Yes." Mabel's heart knew no limits! With each 'yes' she felt like soaring!

Then Prayer smirked. "Your girls?" And just like that; the momentum had shifted. Dipper 2.0's confident face fell. And seeing this, Mabel's heart sank.

Prayer smiled. "Ah...there's the chink in the armor." He teased triumphantly.

"Well?" Asked Prayer expectantly. "Would you do it? To make it so you never felt their love, joy, and caress? To condemn poor Pacifica back to the loveless hell from whence she came?"

Defeated; Dipper 2.0 sighed. "no." He whispered. "Sorry? What was that? Couldn't hear you!" Asked Prayer cupping his ear dramatically.

Dipper 2.0 ignored him. He turned to Mabel. "I'm sorry Mabel"... Despite holding back her tears, Mabel still managed to smile sincerely.

"It's okay Dipper...I get it...you love them...I'm happy that you found something like that for yourself." She admitted honestly. _And my Dipper would have known that love too...if not for me._ She thinks to herself depressed.

Prayer clapped sarcastically. "As charming as this soap opera is; I think we've gotten off track-

"Dawm right we have!" Snaps Dipper 2.0. "Killing Mabel, my Parents! Sending your minions to kill me! Deliberately holding them back from directly killing me! You clearly have an agenda! What is it!?" He demanded.

Prayer chuckled. "I'm glad you asked that; because I wanted to take this time to explain my evil plan-

 **SPLORT!**

Everyone just looked in horror as Prayer spat something right into Dippers mouth. He gags as it slips straight down his esophagus.

"What was that!?" Demanded Mabel. "Plan B." Admitted Prayer. "You think you can still be hero even with deadweight like her around? Fine, let's put it to the test shall we?"

He snaps his pincers. A box appears out of thin air. "What's that?" Asks Mabel; despite dreading the answer.

Prayer smiles. "Don't you see? It's a gift! My parting gift...as in it will part you. Part of you here. Part of you there. And part of you waaaaay over there; staining the wall!"

The box cracks open! Revealing two creatures that look like a writhing pile of bugs trying to assume humanoid forms!

"Allow me to introduce Earl of Eight and Mistress Seven." Stated Prayer. Before anyone can respond; he turns to them.

"Right, go out there. Cause as much havoc as you can! I want to see the streets red with blood!" He points to a terrified Dipper and his friends. "As for them...torment them, break them...but no killing...not yet."

They nodded and vanished. He turns to the groups and opens a portal back to the 2.0 universe. "In 5 minutes a inter-dimensional bomb we'll detonate between our worlds. Rendering any further travel in the immediate future impossible. In 5 minutes if you haven't shown up back in your own dimension; I've ordered Two to level your Shack, Uncle, and frozen family members. TTFN!" And with that he vanished.

For a few seconds...nobody spoke-

 **BOOM!**

Everyone rushed to the window and watched in horror as Gravity Falls was riddled with fire and explosions.

Suddenly Soos phone rang. "Hello, Abuelita? What's wrong?" "Soos! Help me! I- **SLASH!** "So sorry, you wanted the inside of your house painted red, right?" Mocked 8. Soos went into a fetal position and wept

Meanwhile, Wendy listened in horror as her family- **BANG!** "One down! Three more to go! Limbs that is!" Cackled 7. **BANG! BANG! BANG!** Wendy hyperventilated as her whole family was repeatably shot over and over again; while they screamed in pain for her to help...before going silent.

Dipper 2.0 looked at his girls with understanding. They had to go home...but they couldn't just leave things as they were!

Even if these guys were only half as bad as 6...these guys were still doomed! They couldn't handle this! The villians they'd faced here were jokes at best!

Dipper 2.0 grabs Dipper. "Listen; we don't have a lot of time. I have an idea how to quickly give you an edge...but your not going to like it...and it will hurt...a lot"...

Dipper looks as Mabel goes to Sweaterland and rocks back and forth. He looks at his Badass counterpart determined. "Do whatever you have to." Dipper 2.0 nods...And cracks his head down on his.

Dipper cried out both from the pain...and the influx of memories that definitely weren't his!

Dipper 2.0 groaned. "Sorry, but that was only 25%! We need to do that 3 more times!" Which he did. Wendy 2.0 did the same for Wendy.

Right before they go back through the portal. Dipper 2.0 turns back to Dipper. "Be good to her." He says while looking to Mabel. Dipper nods. "You know it." And like that they were gone...and the portal imploded!

…...

The instant they returned; Two happily waved and vanished while promising to see them soon. Dipper 2.0 tried to re-open the portal...but it was all in vain.

The journal had a couple theories...But he'd need the portal fully operational and his Uncle Fords Expertise to get them off the ground...and even then it might take months. Until then...his brother was on his own.

Dipper 2.0 groaned...then smiled. _Well...at least I made sure he won't be doing it alone._ He thinks while sharing mischievous smiles with Tambry 2.0 and Pacifica 2.0...

…...

Meanwhile; Back in the other universe. Two girls...running for their lives and filled with memories that weren't there's...ran to the Mystery Shack...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: 'Cannon' Dipper's adventure will continue in a spinoff! Dipper 1.5: Defective Edition. Coming soon!...hopefully**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	20. ANNOUNCEMENT!

**ATTENTION!**

"To All who read this...I'm going on HIATUS!

"I know, I know. I hate it when Authors do this too.

"But I plan on being a REAL writer; and I need to focus on that.

 **FIRE SALE!**

 **EVERYTHING MUST GO!**

"If you want to adopt my story to continue it; go ahead!

"If more then one person wants to adopt the same story; go ahead!(this includes the one's already labeled 'adopted')

 **NEW YEAR!**

"Let me be clear; this Hiatus(if I don't become an Author) will only last a year...I really do want to finish my fanfic stories(But if you don't want to wait, feel free to adopt)

 **EXCEPTIONS**

"I intend to finish the last chapter of my Christian themed story 'What we gonna do'; I might also occasionally post some Christian Song-fic's.

"From Now on if the conversation thread isn't labeled 'Adopt' or 'Review Glitch'(My computer still won't let new reviews through, I need help!)"I'm going to have to ignore it(sorry)

 **COMMITMENTS**

"Say what you will about me; I'm a man of my word.

"I've promised several Authors that I'd help them with their stories.

"Here they are: The Howling Behemoth, StoriesUnleashed, Brandon Vortex, SPIDERWILLIAM13, Animeshowlover, And...Shot...Okay I can't remember his/her name; but he/she adopted Tremor Falls...so you know who you are...I hope.

"Anyway; Because of my promise. I will still respond to messages from the guys/girls listed above

As for 'Zues Killer Productions'...(sigh)

"Okay, here's the thing...I promised to adopt his/her story...But right after that I remembered- "Dang it, I'm going on Hiatus in a couple months, what is wrong with me?"

"But poorly thought out and misremembered it may have been...for better or for worse I made a commitment and I'm going to stick with it.

"After all; why should he/she suffer because of my poor memory?(I'll still take messages from him/her as well)

"Let's be clear; I'm not going nuts on this...they'll be only one chapter every two weeks(at least)

 **"NAME CHANGE**

"In one week; I'm changing my User name(I wanted this name first...but I forgot it(sheepish smile))

"Say goodbye to "du911"...and hello to "The Cowardly Christian".

"Well...that's it...bye...


	21. HIATUS IS OVER!

**HELLO FAITHFUL READERS!**

As you know...New Years is here...which mean my year long hiatus from fanfiction will be over!

But here's the thing...this year I'm doing something different:

Although I'll be writing fanfiction again; it'll be more sporadic(I'm still giving priority to my REAL story). The stories I focus on will be sorta random...however. I'll be making challenge; to the people who participate in my 'Shake up the Falls' Story challenge.

Ex: If you were to to publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the falls' challenge before anyone else...I would let you pick the first three stories I would be continuing(if you wanted me to continue my 'Gamer of the Year' Story plus two others, I'd do that before anything else)

The details of my 'Shake up the Falls' story idea can be found on my profile.

P.S. Just to clarify; this is a CONTINUOUS arrangement, I'll be continuing stories in the order that a person finishes my challenge, this challenge won't stop after the first person dose it...it'll continue on after that...I'll also be publishing/updating an going on my own time table in the meantime

P.S.S. Reminder; all my stories are still up for adoption!(I'm not abandoning any...I'm simply giving you more options, if you think I'm going too slow). Multiple adoptions for a single story are still allowed!

Hope you had a merry Christmas...and that you have a Happy New Year!


End file.
